Traditions

Every family has their own Christmas traditions. Ours is watching Christmas sitcoms on Christmas Eve. This isn't a family tradition so much as something Alex and I do while Chase sleeps. We've been doing this deliberately for about four years, and only half the time have we been able to see our favorite Christmas episode of all time: the Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode where Will decorates the house in tacky stuff that enrages the neighborhood. It didn't come on this year, but another gem did.
This episode of Sanford and Son is called Ebenezer Sanford, and apparently you can watch it on Youtube. You can kind of guess the plot based on the title. Here's the wonderful ending, where Redd Foxx sings "Merry Christmas to You" while shuffling about the room.

Favorite Christmas Songs, Part 3

I know I already posted my all-time favorite song (not just for Christmas, but for always), Last Christmas by Wham!. I'm not going to post it again, but I AM kind of going to post it again. There are roughly one million covers of Last Christmas, most of which I have on my computer (just kidding, I only have about 45). This one is probably the best, though, for staying faithful to the original while still adding something new. Nothing is better than Wham!, but this is pretty close!

Favorite Christmas Songs, Part 2

Favorite Christmas Songs, Part 1

Now What's This?

Remember when you were just a small child, and Christmastime filled you with a sense of wonder? Well, I have a great way for you to recapture that feeling! Just watch this crazy Bob Dylan video for "Must Be Santa." Mostly you will be wondering what the hell Bob Dylan's doing.

In all seriousness, this is great. Sure, it looks like the worst party ever (is Bob Dylan a ghost or a monster or what? On NPR they called him "Tom Petty's Aunt" and I have to agree), but it definitely isn't boring. We need more confusing, sped-up versions of Christmas standards. Good job, Bob Dylan.

Thursday Night Jams

I'd always really liked the title of the Crystals song "He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)", but I'd never actually heard it. It's written by Carole King (which I know from reading Girls Like Us, which I would like to recommend once more!). Here's a Grizzly Bear cover, which has an entirely different sound (no Phil Spector) but is equally good in its own way.

F U, AV Club

The Talented Winfrey Family is a place for positivity, not negativity, so I'm not going to dwell on this, but the AV Club has a list of the Worst Films of 2009. I guess that's a great way to spend your time if you enjoy reflecting on all the things you hate! I don't, though, so you're not going to see any lists like that here (The AV Club wins this battle, though, by being the blog that's actually read by more than one person). It's one thing to take down a film that's on an undeserved pedestal, but to make some snarky comments about Paper Heart, a movie that didn't do all that well and that people seem to have largely forgotten about, just seems lazy. Of course, the reason I mention this is to remind you to see Paper Heart now that it's out on DVD.
Quoth The AV Club: "From the “what is love” premise to the “what is real?” structure, Paper Heart plays like a movie dreamed up by people who were very, very high at the time. Which would be fine if they weren’t also the kind of people who think of “love” in an elementary-school, passing-notes-at-lunch kind of way, and not in a way that has anything to do with commitment, responsibility, sharing, nurturing, and—not incidentally—sex. When they grow up (or sober up), Yi and Jasenovec ought to find this movie awfully embarrassing."
Well, okay. I'm sorry, you didn't like this movie because there wasn't sex in it? I don't know, go watch another movie. I feel like complaining because a movie isn't what you wanted it to be is pointless and silly. To be disappointed because a movie with potential did not reach said potential is understandable, but it's back to the Papa Winfrey's Pork Chop conundrum once more. That pork chop is always going to be a pork chop, no matter what you say about it. And Paper Heart is always going to be light, sweet, and funny. It isn't supposed to be deep, or sexy, or about "responsibility" and "commitment." The real life love stories were very sweet, and some of them were sad, but most importantly they all seemed honest. Maybe The AV Club writers need to watch Paper Heart a few more times and stop being such old grumps. Or maybe they just need to write their own movies since they hate all the other ones so much.
I won't talk about this anymore, I promise. But go ahead and rent Paper Heart. It's fun to watch and it won't make you sad, which is more than can be said for most of the movies I watch.

Eyes Without a Face

Our Only Reader Lauren told me about this great website, The Auteurs. You can watch Sisters by Brian De Palma for free! Also, Eyes Without a Face. I haven't watched it yet, but of course the classic Billy Idol jam Eyes Without a Face has been stuck in my head all week.

Which made me think of Lasagna Cat:

I'm still here.

Posting an old classic just to let y'all know I'm still around.

The Muppet Movie

I Netflixed The Muppet Movie because I hadn't seen it since I was a child, and because it is surprisingly hard to find. I had only fond memories, but it still managed to be far funnier than I remembered! The movie was ostensibly made for children, but it wasn't condescending in the least...there wasn't a single fart joke. Not that there's anything wrong with fart jokes, but...you know. Also, Muppets drank wine!
Winfreys enjoyed it, and we all had "Movin' Right Along" stuck in our heads all day. This song really comforts me, and I hope it does the same for you.

Z.Gaf

Zach Galifianakis still seems just as nice as he always has!. Some things (I hope) will never change.

Do They Know It's Christmas?

Of course by now we've all seen the Comedy Death Ray version of Do They Know It's Christmas? I'm not even going to bother linking to it because I trust you've seen it. I like it, it's funny, but does it have Boy George? I THINK NOT.
The original does.

Strangely enough, Boy George is the only one who doesn't looked stoned outta his gourd. Sting and Bono look awful! And everyone else looks like they would rather be somewhere, anywhere else. They are clearly TALKING to each other while they are supposed to be singing the chorus. It's almost like they really didn't want to be part of Band Aid, but their publicists told them they should. Oh wait.

No Small Affair

Right now I'm looking for a streamable Netflix movie that isn't depressing, so naturally I'm leaning towards romantic comedies. This isn't quite what I was looking for, yet in other ways it's exactly what I need.

I'm probably not going to watch this tonight, but I like knowing that it exists.

Book Club!

I've just read the first two stories in 20th Century Ghosts, but already I love it! Also, Alex reminded me of how it came to his attention...it was on the A.V. Club's list of Best Short Stories of 00's.
Here are a couple of links if you're interested in Joe Hill: there's Bookslut's glowing review of 20th Century Ghosts, and a really interesting profile from the New York Times.

I'm Probably the Only One, But...

I know this is more a result of me being weird and creepy, but does this Edward Sharpe video remind anyone else of Manson Family footage? I can't be the only one who thinks so.

I'm probably the only one who thinks so.

The One Where I Defend Weezer

My very first concert was Weezer at the Blossom Amphitheater when I was 16 (I think?). My dad took me, Alex, and my best friend. Weezer was my favorite band at the time, and I was wholly convinced that it was the best night of my life. I don't know why I thought that. It's not like I slept with Rivers Cuomo or anything. Regardless, I loved them the way only a teenager can love a band (it was the same blind, adoring love I brought to the Smiths, Ben Folds, and bands far more embarrassing). I'm glad they were my first concert, and I'm glad my dad took me, and I'm glad that Little Alex wrote an essay about it and made fun of me for being so annoying and weird. I'm also glad the A.V. Club is around to remind me, and you, and all of us that Weezer isn't the horrible band we all think they are now. I mean, I am still not going to buy that new album. It seems pretty bad. But there was a time when I used to pore over the pages of Spin magazine, reading articles about Rivers Cuomo holing up in his room and writing literally hundreds of pop songs, like a less crazy Brian Wilson. I really thought he was going to do different things, and it makes me a little sad, but who knows? It could all turn around.

Book Club: December

The Talented Winfrey Family H.P. Lovecraft Book Club is still chuggin' along. Don't you worry your pretty little heads about it. I still have about 20 pages to go on The Moviegoer, so no post about that yet (try to contain your anticipation), but I wanted to let you know what December's pick is. In case you want to read along with us? I don't know who I'm kidding. I don't know why I'm telling you. Either way, our pick is 20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill.

Alex picked this, and I went along with it because:
1. It's Stephen King's (Uncle Stevie's) son.
2. Ghost stories!
3. It's semi-recent, which should mean less totally-historically-accurate-but-still-uncomfortable racism (more on that when we get to The Moviegoer!)
4. There were three copies at the library.
5. Good reviews from nearly every major publication in the country (that might be a lie, but there were a lot of good reviews).

As always, feel free to read along. There is still one copy at the library, so you'd better snatch that up before someone else gets their greedy little paws on it.

I Don't Think They Sing, They Just Screech in Pain

Let's address the elephant in the room. As you may have noticed (or as you may have NOTED, on my facebook page), posting has come to a standstill. It's that time of year again. Little Alex is home until January, which means that posting will be sporadic at best. Not only are we terrible at remembering to update when we can actually, you know, hang out, but Alex also has limited internet access.
Enough with the excuses! Alex's lack of internet be damned, I plan on keeping the blog going at a plodding pace, at the least. I mean, you are guaranteed a plod. Anything more than that I can't promise.
We have been watching a lot of movies between the both of us. Some have been Gigantic disappointments. But most have been great. Only one, however, is our new favorite movie.
My Best Fiend is a documentary about the relationship between director Werner Herzog and crazy actor Klaus Kinski. Supposedly. What it's really about, you'll find as you begin to watch it, is Werner Herzog telling absolutely insane stories as if they were simply amusing anecdotes. Even if you aren't interested in film, or Werner Herzog, this movie is amazing. I'm not going to front (First rule of The Talented Winfrey Family: No fronting), I have not seen the entirety of a movie made BY Werner Herzog. But I have seen a lot of footage OF Werner Herzog. And I love him. This is, of course, a classic. It's not from My Best Fiend, but it gets across the basic essence of Werner.

You can stream the movie on Netflix or, if you don't have Netflix, you can watch the whole thing on Youtube. It's so easy, you guys! I can't stress enough how great this movie is. It's hilarious, sad, confusing, violent, and hilarious again. In closing, here are seven seconds of Herzog nimbly leaping.

Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti

As much as I like this band, I think the less I know about them the better. What I'm saying is, maybe this isn't the kind of band I want to take home to my mom, because maybe this is the kind of band that likes to wander around in the woods and doesn't like to wear a shirt.

Jim Henson

If I'm to believe Google, Sesame Street's 40th anniversary was last week. Since this blog is nothing if not topical, I decided to make a post about Jim Henson THIS week. Sesame Street was a big, big, big part of our childhood. I can't even count how many times we watched the special about Big Bird going to the hospital (but never the special about firefighters, because Alex was scared of it). And we used to constantly rewatch our library's only VHS tape of The Muppet Show (with the Alice Cooper episode AND the Vincent Price episode). This video, Time Piece, is an experimental short film by Jim Henson. Winfreys (highly) recommend.

Please Go Easy With Me

Finals week, please go easy with me.

Maybe Someday

It's a dream I didn't even know I had...a Gilmore Girls movie. I can't imagine it happening, but who knows? Amy Sherman-Palladino's the one in the crazy hat, she can do what she wants.

Style Blog (For Real This Time)

This is one of the best blogs I've ever found. It's called Nerd Boyfriend, and it's a men's style blog. Kind of. It's actually exactly like my own imaginary men's style blog, but someone else did all the work for me! It's weird to find a website that is so tailored to my own personal interests. Now I can finally Get That Werner Herzog Look!

I think Tom Hanks is our dad.

Tom Hanks trying to remember the melody of a song is eerily similar to Papa Winfrey's strange whistlings/hummings/mutterings about the house. You should hear him do "Born to Run."

Llama Attack

Does it seem to you like maybe this guy is embellishing his story a little bit? I imagine he was like, "Jesus Christ, how am I going to make this seem cooler than it was." Also, A+ to whoever edited this piece.

Saul Bass

Saul Bass is awesome.

Three for Thursday

Carrie Brownstein does this thing on her Monitor Mix blog on NPR called Five for Friday. She posts five songs she likes. But it's Thursday, and I can't think of five songs I want to post (I can think of one, and it's called Together in Electric Dreams). So it's Three for Thursday!

Public Service Announcement

Listen, maybe you got a Netflix subscription because you figured you'd finally be able to find all the weird movies you'd only ever heard about. Well, sorry, because Electric Dreams is not even on DVD. Well...it is, kind of. If you're willing to pay $130.00 for a copy. And that copy is probably (I mean, definitely) a bootleg!
Netflix can't solve all your problems.

More of the Same

We changed the mission of the blog, I guess. Now we just post great songs from 80s movies.

My feelings about this song are summed up succinctly by Youtube user DULABHAILE: "God God! I had forgotten this innocent time in my life." Sure! God God, indeed!

Together In Electric Dreams

If anyone's seen this great looking movie, let me know how it is.

Presented Without Comment

Mrs. Doubtfire

Mrs. Doubtfire is great because it is something that is easy to laugh about, but at the same time it is a legitimately good film. Needless to say, it is a family favorite. I found this on the Mrs. Doubtfire imdb boards, and I was impressed.

An Education

I love Ohio, but I do not love waiting for movies to come out here. Even though An Education came out in New York and LA weeks ago, it just came to Cleveland this weekend. Of course, I made H. take me. We were late (like usual) so we missed the first few minutes. After another ten minutes or so had passed, H. leaned over and whispered, "So...is he supposed to be older than her, or what?" And I realized that I'd neglected to tell him anything at all about the film we were seeing.
An Education, as you probably know, is about a high school girl (Carey Mulligan) being seduced by a mysterious older gentleman (Peter Sarsgaard). It was a really fantastic movie and I recommend it. The role of a charming creep is tailor-made for Peter Sarsgaard, who brings an air of creepiness to everything he does, anyway. And as a bonus, the film costars the teacher from Rushmore, the one neither Max Fischer nor Herman Blume could resist.
This is one of those movies where you know from watching the trailer whether you'll like it or not. That's not an original thought of mine, just something I heard some ladies saying in the bathroom right after the movie. They were right, though.

Mother, Jugs and Speed

I like to think I'm a pretty good detective. Actually, I know I'm a pretty good detective. I'm nosy, stubborn, and I don't respect other people's privacy, which means that I can generally get to the bottom of any mysterious situation. But sometimes, the answers elude even me, and I'm forced to rely on fate.
Alex and I heard this crazy disco song on the first season of The Muppet Show a couple of years ago, and I've been trying to locate it ever since. I kind of forgot about it, until H. and I were watching this awful/amazing movie on TV Saturday night. It was after SNL, which is obviously the time that all the classics are shown. The movie was called Mother, Jugs & Speed. It was an ambulance comedy (seriously, I don't know any other way to describe it!) from the 70s starring Bill Cosby (Mother), Raquel Welch (Jugs) and Harvey Keitel (Tony? I know!). It was so bad.

Anyway, as the end credits rolled, I recognized the song. It was THE SONG from The Muppet Show. I guess the song "Dance" by Paul Jabara is like true love: you can only find it when you aren't looking.
It's pretty ridiculous on its own, but it's infinitely better when a puppet is singing it.

Wes Anderson

It's no surprise that The Talented Winfrey family likes Wes Anderson. We are (at least I am) very excited about The Fantastic Mr. Fox, which is coming out Friday. In honor of this new release, you should watch this cool series of videos. Sure, there are people that dislike Wes Anderson, but you are not one of those people.

Sky Pilot

If someone were to be like, "Hey, Alex, I'm sorry to do this to you, but for the rest of your life, you have to just sit down and watch one video over and over again." Would I be mad at the person? It's impossible to say. I'd probably look at them and say something like, "This is for real this time?" and they'd probably slowly nod their head. Then I would say, "Well, do I have time to make a phone call at least?" They would look at me, with a tear in their eye, and say, "No." "Alright then," I would say, trying to maintain my composure, "bring on Sky Pilot."

Eastbound and Down is one of the greatest shows ever made, and this is one of the best parts from the season finale. If you haven't already, watch every episode.

What the what?

If there's one thing we all love, it is this season of Parks and Recreation. It's knocking it out of the park this year. We especially love Nick Offerman's character, Ron Swanson. I was trying to find some video of Nick Offerman on youtube, and instead I found this AWESOME video.

I just wonder if these people still made these videos before the invention of youtube. Like, did they just make them and keep them on their home computer? When their friends came over, were they like, "Hey, you know that actor that we love, but have no relation to? I compiled a bunch of pictures of him and set it to some shitty song. Check it out!"

Cool Video

Hecq Vs Exillion - Spheres Of Fury from Tim.Chris.Film on Vimeo.

This video is really neat. It's very well edited and the color grading is amazing. It was shot with a Canon 7d, which is a new digital SLR. I'm just saying, that would make a good Christmas present. It's only a couple thousand dollars.

While We're On the Subject...

Okay, so we're not really still on the subject of Carly Simon, but I'm always thinking about her. Posting that video yesterday got me thinking about one of my favorite McSweeney's articles...A Retort to Carly Simon Regarding Her Charges of Vanity

Do you know who I am?

This is a record review of Eugene Mirman's new album, God is a Twelve-Year-Old Boy With Asperger's. The album was very funny, although it was not quite as good as his last two. However, who cares, because even not-quite-as-good Eugene Mirman is still amazing comedy. If I can real talk for a second, this was really just an excuse to post this video.

You're So Vain

Alex texted me today that he was watching Bonnie and Clyde and realized that he didn't like Warren Beatty. You and Carly Simon both, I said. Even though Mama Winfrey says she loves Warren Beatty and Papa Winfrey calls him "the thinking man's actor," Carly Simon was so pissed at him that she famously wrote one of the best songs of all time...You're So Vain. Apparently there's debate over who the song is actually about, but if you read one of my favorite books, Girls Like Us, you'll learn that it's almost definitely about Mr. Beatty.
I'll bet he thinks this song is about him.

Hannah Takes the Stairs

This weekend H. and I watched Hannah Takes the Stairs, renamed Hannah Who Cares? by Alex. It's yet another entry in the unfortunately-named genre known as mumblecore (ugh, who writes this stuff?). Greta Gerwig plays the titular Hannah, and she's pretty titular if you know what I mean (I'm trying to awkwardly say she is always taking her top off). I was surprised at how much weird, non-necessary nudity was in this movie. Not that I was offended, because who cares, but the movie began with a shower scene and ended with a bathtub scene (I get what you're doing there, Swanberg).
The actual movie itself was really boring, which is hardly a damning critique coming from me. I've been known to enjoy a boring movie in my time, and I enjoyed this one well enough. Mostly I was just frustrated though. A lot of filmmakers are involved in this movie--Andrew Bujalski (weird dude of my dreams), a Duplass Bro., Todd Rohal--but I really can't figure out how so many people could work on a movie with so little going on. The plot is pretty much this: Hannah breaks up with her boyfriend, starts dating another guy, sleeps with his best friend, ends the movie playing the trumpet in a bathtub with said dude. Which is fine. Whatever. Great movies have consisted of less. I guess what turns me off so much is the air of importance that this movie has. Like Hannah's quest for happiness is so noble or unique, when we all know that it's not. Near the end of the film she has this insufferable conversation with one of her coworkers (right before they have sex, natch) where she tells him that she feels bad because she's just "using him" to make herself feel better, but he's a real person with problems and she shouldn't just turn to him for an unburdened good time! Welcome to Things We All Figured Out When We Were Twelve.
And, honestly, I can't get behind any character who would dump not just a Duplass Bro. but Andrew Bujalski (who just can't catch/write himself a break). She's tossing aside independent filmmakers like they're her clothing or something. We should all be so lucky. H. was not at all impressed by Andrew Bujalski, but I've always found him quite charming! I know he's kind of funny looking (and he has very hairy legs, as we find out) but he always comes across as sweetly vulnerable and nice.

I'm just saying. I know which one I'd pick.
There were a lot of things I didn't like about this movie, but I'm glad it exists. It's nice that someone can make a low-budget movie in a month with their friends and then have that movie shown all over the world. More people should do that! I just hope they're, you know, a little more interesting.

Agreed.

When Paris, Je T'Aime came out, Alex, Papa Winfrey and I went to Columbus to see it. We didn't tell Dad that it was 18 short films because he always (ALWAYS) hates short films. Anyway, he was very disappointed when he found out what we'd dragged him to, and after we watched it, we were disappointed too. That movie was just very silly, you guys, and I don't know why they need to make them for more cities. I feel like anthology films are always bad news, so I loved this article from the A.V. Club: 17 salvageable segments from multiple-director anthology movies.
They listed the only Paris, Je T'Aime segment that I really loved: Alexander Payne's short. It was cute, and hilarious, and everything else was super boring.

Pretty Funny

What was I searching for when I found this video? There's only two options really, and both are kind of weird. Either way, why isn't this the official music video?

I'll stop with all the trailers

but seriously.

We should have gone to Hawaii. This looks like a horrible joke.

Everybody's Fine!

It's basically The Corrections: The Movie. This is definitely a terrible trailer, again. Stop making these terrible trailers. I still would consider seeing it for the always delightful Sam Rockwell. Seriously, that guy could sell me on anything.

Poster

This is a poster that I made. It feels a lot more African than I wanted it to. Not my best work. Anyway, feel free to stop by.

The Corrections

When Alex said we should read The Corrections, outwardly I was like, "Okay." Inwardly I was like, ":(" because it had been sitting on my bookshelf, taunting me, for like two years now. I lugged that thing to college and back and never even opened it. I'd kind of resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't ever going to read it, but I'm glad that I did. Good book club choice, Alex! I ended up loving The Corrections.
Which isn't to say it was all roses. I don't really enjoy criticizing things, because as someone who's never written a book or a movie, I don't feel like I'm qualified to judge what someone else did. Which is why I was a horrible English major and would be a God-awful critic. Regardless, I had some serious problems with The Corrections when I began it. Namely,the violently anti-Midwest sentiment! Which, yes, I know, was part of Gary's character and not necessarily a reflection of what Jonathan Franzen himself thinks. But seriously. Take this paragraph:

"The midmorning light of a late-winter thaw, the stillness of a weekday nonhour in St. Jude, Gary wondered how his parents stood it. The sky was the same color as the salt-white pavement on which elderly St. Judean drivers obeying barbituate speed limits were crawling to their destinations: to malls with pools of meltwater on their papered roofs, to the arterial that overlooked puddled steel yards and the state mental hospital and transmission towers feeding soaps and game shows to the ether; to the beltways and, beyond them, to a million acres of thawing hinterland where pickups were axle-deep in clay and .22s were fired in the woods and only gospel and pedal steel guitars were on the radio; to residential blocks with the same pallid glare in every window, besquirreled yellow lawns with a random plastic toy or two embedded in the dirt, a mailman whistling something Celtic and slamming mailboxes harder than he had to, because the deadness of these streets at such a nonhour, in such a nonseason, could honestly kill you."

Well, okay then, what's the point of even living? I know I meant for this paragraph to illustrate how much I hated certain parts of The Corrections, but what this actually shows is that The Corrections is so depressing because it's so well written and so, unfortunately, true to life. It was a good book! But it made me sad. Here's hoping that The Moviegoer will be a bit lighter (figuratively. Literally it is about half the weight of The Corrections). As always, feel free to read along with us and check back at the end of the month for our super-insightful reviews (usually something like "I enjoyed this").

Winfrey Family Book Club: The Corrections

Going into The Corrections, I knew very little about the book other than that it was supposed to be really good and that most people probably don't really read it. I actually took the book with me on a Winfrey Family vacation. Obviously I didn't read it and that's probably for the best, because this book is a little bit of a downer. Like, maybe you'll be depressed for a couple days. That type of a downer.

You'll notice that there is no grade at the beginning or the end of this post. That's because Winfreys don't believe in assigning grades to art. But if I was going to assign a grade, you know, it would probably be an A+. It was really good. Yes, there were parts of the book that interested me much less than others. However, even these parts (Chip in Lithuania) that I tried to convince myself I was bored with, were still interesting. There were some really stressful parts too. Actually, the whole book was really stressful, but particularly Gary's house and the cruise ship. Of course there was some weird sex and **SPOILER ALERT** some weird talking turds, but that's to be expected.

The coolest part about the book was Jonathan Franzen's ability to write convincingly for such a wide variety of characters (which I guess is what writers do?) He also managed to write a novel about white-upperclass angst, and still make it seem interesting and important (and not dumb). One of my favorite scenes of the novel was when young Chip was forced to stay at the kitchen table and finish his dinner, which we often had to do.

Chipper heard and saw things but they were all in his head. After three hours, the objects surrounding him were as drained of flavor as old bubble gum. His mental states were strong by comparison and overwhelmed them. It would have taken an effort of will, a reawakening, to summon the term "place mat" and apply it to the visual field that he had observed so intensely that its reality had dissolved in the observing, or to apply the word "furnace" to the rustle in the ducts which in its recurrence had assumed the character of an emotional state or an actor in his imagination, an embodiment of Evil Time. The faint fluctuations in the light as someone ironed and someone played and someone experimented and the refrigerator cycled on and off had been part of the dream. This changefulness, though barely noticeable, had been a torment. But it had stopped now.

In conclusion, this book probably did everything that it was supposed to do, and I'm not smart enough to really say anything else about it. I like it a lot, and I'm glad I read it.

NEXT MONTH'S BOOK IS THE MOVIEGOER by WALKER PERCY. Kerry and I have yet to determine the weekly page amount, but it will be significantly less than what we did for The Corrections.

It's Halloween Weekend.

I hope everyone has a good one!

Bob Odenkirk

Bob Odenkirk is such a tragic figure. He's like, one of the funniest people on the planet, and yet he has trouble getting projects made. I was reading an old blog entry of his, and he was talking about how he was so excited that he was working on a new show with David Cross. Because I am from the future, I know that this show did not get picked up. Also, he always talks about how much he loved Derek and Simon: The Show, but no one watched it. Well guess what, Bob. This clip's for you.

Watch it, and like it.

Wowza, this looks bad.

Thank god it vibrates, right? Dumb joke alert.

Michael Caine

Do you remember a long time ago, when I said I was turning this into a fashion blog where I would highlight my favorite men's styles? Well, I forgot about that. Until now.
This is a favorite look of mine (and Alex's). It's Michael Caine in Hannah and Her Sisters, one of my favorite movies (and not one of Alex's).

There aren't even words for that hairstyle. And this coat?


Get outta town. That coat's amazing. I only wish I could find footage of him running while wearing it.
Michael Caine: fashion icon. Maybe someday this look will appear at Urban Outfitters, and all the young dudes will start looking like Michael Caine...but probably not, because I can't imagine anyone wearing that coat. Maybe this sweater, though!

It's these jokers again.

This time they review a Karen O song from the Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack. They like it, which is kind of rare.

Zelig

I done did it: I got a Netflix account. Now I'm wondering why I didn't do this long ago. I've filled my "queue" (I hate that word) with some real gems, like Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (written, of course, by the great Roger Ebert). But my first choice was Zelig by Woody Allen.
It's not the most popular Woody Allen film, likely because it's really weird. It's a mockumentary about Leonard Zelig, a "human chameleon" who finds himself transforming into whoever is near him, be that person obese, handicapped, or an entirely different race. Woody Allen used bluescreen technology to place himself, as Zelig, into historical footage with old movie stars, sports stars, and, in one instance, Hitler. Mia Farrow plays a lady-doctor who takes on Zelig's case and, as is true of most Woody-Mia stories, ends up falling in love.
It's hard to come up with an opinion on this. On the one hand, it's clear that an enormous amount of time went into Zelig. In just the time it took to edit the film, Woody Allen made two OTHER movies (he is nothing if not productive). In addition to the technical aspects, there are multiple songs written about Zelig, as well as interviews with such literary greats as Susan Sontag and Saul Bellow. On the other hand, the movie doesn't really do a lot. I mean, there isn't much of a plot, really, but it's supposed to be a documentary. I laughed a lot, though, and Alex probably would too if he didn't hate Woody Allen so much. That's a shame, because the silly humor is pretty similar to David Wain's.
Here's a clip of some of the famous people interviews at the beginning of Zelig. I'm not sure who posted this video on youtube, but if you read the information on the page it seems like it was posted for a school assignment, possibly for an English as a Second Language film course. What a weird movie to watch for that purpose. And, really, the discussion question ("Do you like Woody Allen movies? Please explain") is a little weak.

This picture blew my mind.

I already thought that Edgar Wright looked a lot like Jason Reitman, and then I found this picture. The dudes are identical. They should just go as each other for Halloween. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is going to be great. Don't believe me? Watch this video.

*Bonus* Blog - Hula - Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World from Scott Pilgrim The Movie on Vimeo.

Hall and Oates!

Winfreys love Hall and Oates. It's one of the few things we can all agree on. But I realized that I don't really know much about Mr. Hall and Mr. Oates; I just knew their beautiful harmonies. Until I found this article, which is itself about another article, one from a 1985 issue of Rolling Stone where Daryl Hall makes some weird, incriminating statements about the band and his sexuality. Oates, for his part, shrugs it off (actual quote: "Oates shrugs it off.").
The weirdest statement comes from Hall after the interviewer asks if he and Oates ever hooked up (an aside: why would you ask that question? Aren't we all better off assuming that they did not?): "The idea of sex with a man doesn't turn me off, but I don't express it. I satisfied my curiosity about that years ago. I had lots of sex between the ages of three or four and the time I was fourteen or fifteen. Strange experiences with older boys. But men don't particularly turn me on. And, no, John and I have never been lovers. He's not my type. Too short and dark."
Strange experiences with older boys? Tell us more, Hall! Alas, the interview quickly turns to different subjects, most of them just as controversial (Hall says he's the best singer he knows, he compares the duo to the Beatles), some not so controversial (did you know they did a tour sponsored by a chewing gum?). Through it all, Hall eats pasta. Oates shrugs. It's compelling stuff.

Those were different times.

This movie got a PG rating. I don't think a movie can get a PG rating if it even has "blood" in the title today. Also, is this the best narrator in the history of movie trailers? I think so.

American Movie

American Movie is a really amazing documentary, and you can watch it online for free! Check it out if you haven't seen it before.

Pretty Neat

Interlude I—Dream Sequence in Subi Circumnavigation from Asthmatic Kitty on Vimeo.

I wonder if Chase knows about this yet. It's been around for a while now. It won't be long before someone tries to recruit Sufjan Stevens to do a film score. He'll probably say no.

Makingof

Makingof is one of my all time favorite websites, and I've meant to make a post about it for a while, but I keep forgetting. It's such a great website! Who came up with such a great idea? Oh, Natalie Portman.

She's an angel. Anyway, this could become the greatest website in the world. Interviews are something that I spend way too much time on, whether it's podcasts or commentaries, and now there's this website. Thanks Natalie Portman. I really hope that they keep adding to all of these great interviews. Here's an interview with my favorite director, David Gordon Green.

So what?

This song's old. That doesn't mean I haven't been listening to it a lot lately.

I've got some things to say.

I've been seeing this trailer a lot. Every movie I go to shows this trailer, which makes sense, because who's the audience for this movie? Anyone they can trick into going to see it. I've been feeling a lot of hate toward this movie, but yesterday I realized that all of this hatred was unfair. I still don't care about this movie, but I don't hate it. I realized that if this movie were to come on television, and it was raining or something, I might watch it. Kathy Bates is in it. I could see myself being drawn into the story the same way I am drawn into AOL news stories (Is this costume offensive?) I realized that everything that made me upset was based on the trailer alone.

Let's look at the trailer. It could be placed in an episode of SNL that Sandra Bullock was guest-hosting, and I think it would get some serious laughs. It does everything the movie does. This thing is practically a short film! A trailer should not have this many people in it! At this point, I know every character in the film, and every plot point. I'm sure John Lee Hancock is a proficient director and everything (did anyone see The Rookie? I didn't), and I'm sure his film is okay, but who did this? Someone was payed to create this trailer. It's disgusting that they have so little respect for their audience. What happened to trailers you guys?

It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when this was an acceptable trailer. Isn't Alien great?

Winfreys recommend.

I was home this weekend, and you'd better believe I did some cooking. I decided to go with Michael Symon's recipe for Honey Brined Chicken with Lemon and Sage, and it was so good. Also, it was really easy to make. Just put it in the brine the night before you cook it, and then put it in the oven. It was extremely tender and flavorful. Simple and delicious. A tip of the hat to you, Mr. Symon. I also made buttermilk biscuits, and some roasted asparagus. For dessert, I made Tyler Florence's chocolate mousse, which was also very good.

Finally!

The A.V. Club interviewed Bronson Pinchot. The entire thing is great, but what really surprised me is what a nice, normal person he sounds like. He's just very laid back, but also unafraid to shit talk people that are jerks. My favorite quote: "It’s a good lesson, because anything that looks “charming,” if you scratch the surface, there’s going to be fudge." How true.

Dr. Dog

I went to two shows this weekend. That's not a normal thing for me. Alex already covered the Sunset Rubdown show, and the only thing he left out was how I was super sleepy and could barely keep my eyes open at the end. I'm old! The other show I went to this weekend was Dr. Dog at the Beachland in Cleveland. The Beachland was very weird, old, and slightly dirty looking, but very nice in its own way. Which is kind of how I feel about Cleveland as a whole.
This was one of the best shows I've ever been to, and I've seen Weird Al in concert so that's saying something! But seriously, I've also seen Dashboard Confessional! BUT FOR REAL. Dr. Dog were phenomenal and, strangely enough, really high energy. If you read anything about them on the internet, you can't escape the Zombies/Beach Boys comparisons, but they have a lot more edge than a straightforward pop band. They're like the most melodic Beatles song and the trippiest Beatles song and the hardest Beatles song all put together. They started out with Worst Trip, which was the best song to start with. It also would've been the best song to end with, and the best song to have in the middle (it's the best song). It took awhile to grow on me for some reason, but I love it now.

They also played a sped-up version of Oh No, which I liked better than the album version, which you can watch here at your own risk.

The crowd was into it and only about 10 percent douchebags. Most of the girls looked like this

and all the guys looked like this

and the lead singer dressed like Andy Capp

Baby Fartz

Just noticed the baby and fart shortage on the blog. Killed two birds with one fart.

Where The Wild Things Are

Winfreys have a weird relationship with film criticism. We love reading movie reviews, but few things make us more mad (at least this Winfrey). At this point, we've all seen Where The Wild Things are, and we realize that it was a really great film. Well, I've been slowly stoking the hate fire all weekend by reading reviews for it. I loved this movie. It's definitely an important movie, and people that don't like it just don't like it, and that's fine or whatever.

What's not fine or whatever is people that don't understand film criticism. You can't give this film a negative review because it isn't something else. This is like asking Papa Winfrey what he thought of the pork chop he had for dinner. He's not going to like it, and nothing he says about it is going to change the pork chop, and he realizes this. Obviously people are going to have opinions and feelings about a movie (especially an adaptation), but regardless of what they say, the film is in its final form, and it will never change.

There are people that say the film isn't whimsical enough, or don't like the furry suits, or didn't like the narrative structure, or didn't like the color scheme. There are entire reviews that consist of, "Well the hipsters are going to love this one." And shouldn't people review this as a film, not as whatever they would have done with the adaptation? It's so frustrating to see a movie that is so completely different from anything that you've ever seen before, and then go home and read reviews that criticize everything that is unique about it, and go on to make suggestions on how to improve the film. I always wonder what the detractors of classic films had to say when they were first released.

I really do feel like this will become a classic film. It's one of the most visceral and emotionally complicated movies that I have seen in a long time, and I'm sure that you've already all seen it, but if you haven't you really should. Even if you don't like it, it's something pretty to look at for 101 minutes.

Sunset Rubdown: Live

Kerry and I went to see Sunset Rubdown on Sunday, and it was a sweet show. It was also a really weird show. Every road in Columbus was closed. A girl passed out at our feet, and I had to spring into action (go get a bartender). Also, Fred Armisen was there (at least someone that looked like him). The guy behind me occasionally wafted BO into my face, and it smelled like hotdogs. The venue was super weird, and I don't know if I would really recommend it. The sound wasn't the best, and you couldn't really see anything.

It was still awesome, and there was no crowd surfing (a legitimate fear of Kerry's). The band that opened was Newvillager, but don't let their name fool you, they don't suck. Seriously, I liked them a lot, but they only have two songs on the entire internet, so good luck finding their music. They sounded really cool, and I really want to listen to more of their stuff. Finally Sunset Rubdown came out. People shouted "Sunset!" Then they began playing Silver Moons, but I missed the beginning of it, because that was right when that weird girl passed out. They played pretty much all of Dragonslayer, and they also played The Mending of the Gown! It wasn't even the slow version that they play all the time! I would definitely recommend seeing Sunset Rubdown live. Even though the sound in this place wasn't the best, they still sounded very good.

Phil Collins

I have a long, long list of female comedians I admire, but Chelsea Peretti is near the top of the list. She covers all the bases: funny, awesome hair, talks about being depressed a lot. This video made me laugh out loud (I really did LOL, you guys):

When I used to have to listen to soft rock at work (I don't think I've mentioned yet on the blog that my soft rock days are through), Phil Collins was a staple. Like, an every-hour staple. Soft rock is such a slippery beast. This song seems ridiculous and funny, but if you listen to it every day it becomes horrible and soul-crushing. But then after a few months it becomes ridiculous and funny again! Either way, here is the actual video if you need something to listen to while you study.

Bingo.

Listen, Lexie, I know you are busy studying or whatever it is you do at cowledge, but do you think you could find time to watch this movie? It shouldn't have happened to a dog! But it DID!

Actually really insightful.

Finally got some answers.

Alton Brown

Alton Brown is a weird character. Some people love him, some people (Mother Winfrey) hate him. He's definitely got his own thing. Anyway, there was a pretty good interview with him on the A.V. Club where he talks about foodies ruining food and how he's not a chef.

I can admit when I've made a mistake.

When I realize I've done something wrong, I like to come out and just admit it. I don't want people to dig up any dirt on me. Nope, this guy's pretty much an open book, which is why I'm not afraid to admit that I was wrong about meatball sandwiches. For the majority of my life, up until just recently, I did not like the meatball sandwich. Why? I don't know. I honestly don't know. Let's look at the facts. I love sandwiches. I love meatballs. Somewhere in my brain, the logic train was derailed. I'm sorry meatball sandwich. I plan on making up for lost time.

Disappointment

I'm just stopping by my apartment on my way to The Land of No Internet, a.k.a. Winfrey Family HQ, a.k.a. La Casa del Winfreys, a.k.a. my parents' house. Today at work while I was entering data (like I do), I started thinking about how much I loved Making Friends with Chelsea Peretti, because Chelsea Peretti is hilarious. I can even kind of remember the theme song. So I thought I'd just pop in here and post that, but guess what, you guys? Since Superdeluxe.com doesn't exist anymore, neither does that video! I'm sure it's somewhere, but I'm too lazy to look for it right now. When you try to search for it, all you will find is the Adult Swim website. I give up.
So anyway, I decided to post a Variety Shac video instead. I kind of forgot about these ladies! I hadn't seen this one yet, and it made me laugh out loud several times. Also, the subject is pertinent to our one reader. Heather Lawless is (unfortunately) not in this one, but you should recognize Andrea Rosen from every commercial ever (literally).

Working Girl

I caught part of Working Girl on TV awhile ago, and I'm not ashamed to tell you (okay, I'm a bit ashamed to tell you) that when I was a little girl, I thought my life would be pretty much exactly like this:

I'm not saying that I assumed I'd be saying things like, "I've got a head for business, and a bod for sin," but I did think that being a secretary was, like, the most glamorous thing in the world. Sometimes I still think that. Then I realize that I'm not wearing shoulder pads, I don't have a business-sexy haircut like Melanie Griffith, Joan Cusack is not my sassy, sexually-aggressive best friend, and Harrison Ford is nowhere in sight. A girl can dream, though, right?

This One's For the Brosef

I know Lexie loves Halloween music, but there just isn't enough of it. Luckily for all of us, Ryan Gosling agreed. While he wasn't busy being really classically attractive, he recorded some Halloween music with his band Dead Man's Bones. You can stream some songs on the band's Myspace. They're playing a show in New York on October 15th. Apparently it's already sold out, but I'm sure that someone could find a way in, possibly make out with Ryan Gosling, and then report back on the experience. Let us know if you find a way to make this happen!

Further Studies in Joan Crawford

I always assumed Joan Crawford was a camp icon just because of Mommy Dearest. Then I saw the Trog trailer. And later still, I found this! Say what you will about this trailer, but I like the check boxes. Sometimes it's hard for me to figure out if I should see a movie, and a detailed questionnaire in the trailer is a thoughtful feature.

It's too bad I can't figure out the name of this movie! Oh well. It's October, you guys, so get ready to see a lot of horror movie trailers here on TTWF.

GOSSIP.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what it will take to make this blog hit The Big Time. We're amusing, right? And we routinely scoop other sources on the really important stories, like Werner Herzog's film school and Crispin Glover's weird music video. But we still only have one reader. Do you think it has something to do with the fact that we only write about our weird niche interests? Well, I am through with that, and I'm going to drive traffic to our blog the old-fashioned way (is it old-fashioned? I don't know): Celebrity Gossip! I have about 4 items of celebrity gossip (I'm sorry, I actually mean "celebrity gossip") that I can't wait to share with you. We are going to set the internet on fire. I hope you're ready for what you're about to witness. Here is some gossip:


My source tells me that before she hit the big time with Everybody Loves Raymond, Patricia Heaton visited his church. Apparently she grew up in the area and came back to see her family. My source approached her and told her that he loved her work in Beethoven, which had recently come out, and she was very gracious.
So Patricia Heaton seems nice! Or at least she did about 10 years ago! GOSSIP!

Review Time

I wrote out a review of House of the Devil, but I wasn't feeling it, so I'll just tell you that you should definitely see it. All the reviews you have read have been true. It's an amazing film and I hope that it does really well.

Wow. They did not do a very good job.

I think this list does more harm than good. First of all, most of those are like, a-duh. Second of all, only a few of them are great films. I'm looking at you Point Break.

Thursday night, and the feeling was right.

Thursday night TV is killing it this year. Last nights episode of Parks and Recreation was the funniest episode I've seen. If the rest of the season was terrible, I'd be like, "Man this su...oh, but there was that one really good episode." It was that good! Anyway, remember last year, how that had that really funny Scarecrow Boat website? Well now they have an awesome Duke Silver website. Someone over at Parks and Rec knows how to use the internet.

Even scarier.

These are some commercials from Canada. Apparently in Canada, you can stop accidents from happening by just telling people to be more careful. Also in Canada, they're willing to spend a ton of money on an ad campaign about accident prevention. If these kinds of accidents happen all the time in Canada, then I never want to go back there.

Tis the Season

Halloween is just around the corner, and by that, I mean at the end of the month. It's a very exciting time of the year for everyone. I found this weird clip to get you in the mood, and hopefully scare Kerry (it's not hard). I hope you enjoy.

Fartfully yours,

Alex

He Wolf

I read about this in Entertainment Weekly last week (or maybe it was the week before), but didn't get around to watching it until just now. DON'T MAKE MY MISTAKES! I know you've seen Shakira's She Wolf video, so now watch He Wolf.

EW tells me he did this in 3 days and on a 40 dollar budget. Apparently three days and 40 dollars will get you pretty far. In a specific area, I mean. Like if you want to feed all the world's starving children, then no, 40 dollars will not get you too far. But if you want to recreate the best music video of all time, then yes. 40 dollars will buy a lot of crinkly paper to put on your walls.
I'm pretty sure when we first saw She Wolf, Alex mentioned doing this with one of his friends. You snooze/don't spend 40 dollars over a period of three days, you LOSE.

I mean...

Where to begin? There's something kind of nice about this. Everyone had a good time on Frasier! I'm afraid to start, because there's so much to write about here that next thing you know this blog will be entirely dedicated to Frasier! It's a slippery Grammer-filled slope.

More Polanski Talk, Sorry

FINALLY, someone has the balls (i.e., the public forum) to say what we've all been thinking (i.e., what I've been bitching about): that stupid "Free Roman Polanski" petition is NOT signed by a bunch of "Hollywood insiders." The vast majority of those people don't live in Hollywood, and even the ones who do are super out-of-the-mainstream weirdies. It's just a factual error that bugs me everytime I see it, which is often. Especially on the Fox News headlines that pop up on Google News. They always say something to the effect of, "Hollywood elite rally behind Polanski." Well, okay, except that no real big-money-making directors have signed it. And the big names that have mostly are New York based. You know how Woody Allen is, always making films about Hollywood and how much he loves it! Oh wait. That is inaccurate. Oh well, put it in the article anyway. (That was my impression of someone who writes news articles.)
Anyway, the guy that wrote "A History of Violence" wrote an essay about it, and it's interesting.

Sarah Haskins is My New Hero

For some reason, I never really watched the Sarah Haskins videos they were always talking about on Jezebel. I was like, "I'm sure those are funny, but I'm busy!" Who was I kidding? I am not busy! But I was right in that they are funny. In these vids (short for videos, sorry, didn't mean to lose you there!), Sarah Haskins looks at advertisements directed towards women. Hilarity ensues. Even H. liked these, and he typically hates everything made for, by, or about women.
Here's one of my faves. But they are all my faves.

Rumor Alert!

I heard they were making the Rush Hour bloopers into a full length movie.

Bestie by Bestie

Jenny Slate is at the top of my list of personal heroes (heroines, I guess), along with Carrie Brownstein and Amy Sedaris. You've probably all seen this video already, but it's always worth a rewatch, right?
Bestie by Bestie

More Free Ideas

This is just another great idea that we've had, although this one is ruined a little bit by Kelsey Grammer.
A couple of years ago, I was reading Charles Bukowski's "You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense." It wins the award for having a great title, but it was depressing. Not really depressing in the way that all of Bukowski's poems are depressing, but depressing because it was written near the end of his life and it definitely reflected that fact. About half of the poems were about how he didn't have anything to write poems about. The rest of them were about things he did when he was younger, how much he used to drink, and setting his garbage can on fire. Throughout the poems, his wife hovered on the periphery, not really doing anything but occasionally yelling at him or something. Naturally, this all spelled one thing to Alex and I: SITCOM!
Each episode of Untitled Bukowski Project would begin with Bukowski sitting at his desk, pencil in hand (never a computer. He called them "electric typers"). Some Bukowski-ish stuff would happen over the course of the next half hour. He would set the garbage can on fire and his wife would have to put it out. That would be the great catchphrase: "I don't know why you're always setting this garbage can on fire." And at the end of each show, Bukowski would recite one of his poems to the camera while the audience (because each episode of Untitled Bukowski Project is filmed in front of a live studio audience) laughed.
Obviously, I planned on calling this show HANK. But I guess Kelsey Grammer beat me to it. You win this one, Grammer.

TROG

For some reason I can't figure out, Alex posted this trailer as his facebook status instead of putting it on the blog. Duh, Alex! We have a blog! It is made for this kind of thing. It's a trailer for the film TROG, starring Joan Crawford (the trailer will not let you forget this fact):

Yes, please! I love it. Those poor kids on the playground. They're gonna get it and they don't even know it. Apparently this was Joan Crawford's last film, which is weird (to say the least). In Alex's status, he asked if anyone had seen it. Well, maybe you should've read the Youtube comments, because user "dingdongs4" said:
"i saw that movie retarded"
There's your answer! I saw that movie retarded, indeed.