Werner Time

I'll be honest (as usual, no frontin' allowed here). I didn't watch all of this yet, because, um, 18 minutes long. But I thought that some people (Alex) might not have seen it yet. Why doesn't Werner narrate everything? If his voice was in commercials, I would buy so much stuff.

What Do You Do With A Problem Like Harmony Korine?

At this point, the amount of time I spend thinking about Harmony Korine is inversely proportionate to how much I like what he does. That is to say, I do not enjoy his films. I'm trying, though. It really irritates and saddens me when people don't attempt to like, or at the very least understand, a film, book, or piece of music. I majored in English and took a film class, and it was amazing to me how often people would come to a work with a closed mind, prepared to hate it. At least in my lit classes, people were generally so desperate to appear intelligent that they were willing to analyze and seriously consider just about anything. But an attitude that came up a lot was, "I don't understand this, so I don't like it." I don't ever want to be like that, so I really do try hard to appreciate a film or book as something that a person (or many people) spent a lot of time on. I mean, wouldn't it be depressing to go through life hating everything? It totally would.
That being said, I COULD NOT WATCH JULIEN DONKEY BOY.

Yikes, you guys. I was being semi-serious with all those pretentious ramblings above, but the point I want to make is that even with the best of intentions, that is a hard movie to get through! I've said it before and I'll say it again: Harmony Korine, what is your deal?
The Believer's recent film issue has an interview with Mr. Korine himself, and he manages to confuse me even more. He is married and has a kid. He edited Trash Humpers entirely on a VCR. A VCR! He loves to tap dance. He may or may not be a compulsive liar? Also, he looks like Steve Perry.

This post was mostly an excuse to post that picture.

Great News

With the month of March coming to an end, it's time to get excited about April. What does April bring? Well, for one thing, April Fools Day. Expect some pretty wacky posts on that day. Also, my show, Baby Mountain, will be premiering. But, one of the things I'm most excited about is the formation of a new club. That's right, everyone. The Talented Winfrey Family Film Club will begin this April! Get excited! Much like the book club, this is a great opportunity to view some films that we've been meaning to watch, or just would not watch unless we were forced to. Like, I loved The Corrections, but all I'm saying is that was a big book. And now, we can watch some long, great films and discuss them here! The club's first selection is Werner Herzog's Fitzcarraldo, which I'm very excited about. I hope y'all can join us.

Werner, Explained

We're always talking about Werner...but the A.V. Club explains his importance much more concisely than we ever could.

I Don't Think They Sing, They Just Screech in Pain

Let's address the elephant in the room. As you may have noticed (or as you may have NOTED, on my facebook page), posting has come to a standstill. It's that time of year again. Little Alex is home until January, which means that posting will be sporadic at best. Not only are we terrible at remembering to update when we can actually, you know, hang out, but Alex also has limited internet access.
Enough with the excuses! Alex's lack of internet be damned, I plan on keeping the blog going at a plodding pace, at the least. I mean, you are guaranteed a plod. Anything more than that I can't promise.
We have been watching a lot of movies between the both of us. Some have been Gigantic disappointments. But most have been great. Only one, however, is our new favorite movie.
My Best Fiend is a documentary about the relationship between director Werner Herzog and crazy actor Klaus Kinski. Supposedly. What it's really about, you'll find as you begin to watch it, is Werner Herzog telling absolutely insane stories as if they were simply amusing anecdotes. Even if you aren't interested in film, or Werner Herzog, this movie is amazing. I'm not going to front (First rule of The Talented Winfrey Family: No fronting), I have not seen the entirety of a movie made BY Werner Herzog. But I have seen a lot of footage OF Werner Herzog. And I love him. This is, of course, a classic. It's not from My Best Fiend, but it gets across the basic essence of Werner.

You can stream the movie on Netflix or, if you don't have Netflix, you can watch the whole thing on Youtube. It's so easy, you guys! I can't stress enough how great this movie is. It's hilarious, sad, confusing, violent, and hilarious again. In closing, here are seven seconds of Herzog nimbly leaping.

Style Blog (For Real This Time)

This is one of the best blogs I've ever found. It's called Nerd Boyfriend, and it's a men's style blog. Kind of. It's actually exactly like my own imaginary men's style blog, but someone else did all the work for me! It's weird to find a website that is so tailored to my own personal interests. Now I can finally Get That Werner Herzog Look!

Herzog on Herzog.

I had just one class today so, like any Winfrey does, I went to the library. Obviously I got this book when I saw it. How could I not? Anyway, I've already found some amazing things. It's such a shame that more people don't know that much about Werner Herzog, because a Werner Herzog reality show sketch would be amazing. Kind of like that Lisa Loeb show where she tried to date people. Except, Werner Herzog would be more concerned about not succumbing to the overwhelming evil of the world. Here is what I learned:

1) He was super not into doing this book. When asked to be interviewed, he faxed back, "I do not do self-scrutiny. I do look into the mirror in order to shave without cutting myself, but I do not know the color of my eyes. I do not want to assist in a book on me."

2) If Werner Herzog created a film school, he would only accept students if they'd walked 5,000 kilometers, and kept a journal of their experiences. He would read the journal and know if they actually walked the distance. He also would have a boxing ring, and required boxing training every night from 8-10. In addition to boxing, he would require classes in juggling, sparring, somersaults (backwards and forwards), and magic card tricks. "Whether or not you would be a filmmaker by the end I do not know, but at least you would come out as an athlete."

And I've only read 16 pages.

Someone Found the Recipe For a Winfrey Wet Dream.

Certain things make a Winfrey say "Aw hell yeah." Kind of like a reverse Will Smith. This is one of them.

Meet Werner.

There is no reason that he doesn't have his own show.  It wasn't until I saw this that I realized we settle for such mediocre reality television shows.  Imagine turning on the television and watching Werner Herzog dining with Val Kilmer.  In the evenings he would throw himself into cactuses or try to push a boat over a mountain.  We can always dream.