A little bloody, a little gassy

I'm sorry. I bet you didn't know you would be getting a double shot of video, huh? Well, faithful reader, you should have learned by now that when you're cruising with The Talented Winfrey Family you expect the unexpected.

A Christmas Treat!

I hope all of you had an amazing Christmas.  I know that Santa Baby was very kind to the Winfrey house.  My pals and I made a video, just for the occasion.  So if all you got for Christmas was a box of dead snakes or a gift certificate of death, this one's for you.  Enjoy.

Beyonce.

Here I am everyone.  2 hours until my final, and I can't stop it with this video.  It's what the Winfrey house calls a Golden Oldie.  Enjoy!

Much Better With the Farts

If you are a person that has inadvertently stumbled across the Talented Winfrey Family and you only have time to watch one video (I am talking about Hollis), make it this one. I'm sincerely sorry for not posting this earlier. Here at Winfrey Family HQ, we love a good fart joke. That's a lie. We just love a fart joke, it doesn't have to be good. Any old fart joke will do. But this is, actually, a genius idea: Paula's Farty.


I'm shocked that we haven't mentioned Paula yet! She is our Winfrey Family Muse. Although I do have to agree with Youtube user Quikgamer: "This is much better with the farts." Isn't everything, Quikgamer?

~*Twilight*~

Alex just sent me this video that he made for Twilight.


First off, I want to just say GREAT JOB to my little bro for making such an awesome video. I thought you were studying for finals all week! I didn't even know you had another Youtube account, but I guess parisbabyhott1 HAS been your family nickname since you were born (we all have them, based on a city/stage of life/temperature/number template). I like how you added those green curtains at the beginning and end. Nice touch, and a little Lynchian. And I'm also glad that you found a way to use all of those Twilight icons you've been making and sending me on facebook.

Then I found this, about the Ultimate Twilight Fan Search:

Stop the search! I found the ultimate fan, and his name is parisbabyhott1.

Twilight Everybody!

Kerry keeps yammering on about this movie called Twilight, which I guess is based on a book or something?  Just kidding.  But seriously, stop talking about Twilight.  At the Winfrey house, we have a strong dislike of the actors and actresses involved in the film, and guess what.  I found Robert Pattinson's five favorite films. 

The Office kind of

The truth is, I should be studying.  I've got several big finals coming up, and I need to do well.  However, I discovered a new phenomenon brought to you, once again, by GodTube.  Don't ask me how I found it.  All you need to know is what it is.  It's called The Church Office.  It's pretty much what it sounds like.  It's just like The Office, but it takes place in a church office I guess.  The thing is, there are tons of these.  It seems like everyone has their own The Church Office.  Some are exact remakes (reimaginings) and others create their own stories.  What I'm saying is, if you ever get a free day, get on GodTube, skip past all the atheists in hell videos, and immerse yourself in The Church Office universe.  Enjoy.

Mostly for Hollis

I created this post to give all of you a heads up about an awesome new video sharing website: JewTube.  I know.  I didn't think it existed either, but it does and this video is on it.  Enjoy!

  

F.I.S.T.

This is just a little trailer for y'all.

I realized that I could watch an entire movie composed of still frames of Sylvester Stallone (preferably in the middle of a riot).  I wish they still made trailers like this. 

Twin Beaks

Sorry to our multitude of readers (I'm sure you number in the twos!) for posting something that is really only interesting to me and Alex (and even then, only marginally interesting to Alex), but this needs to be shared with the world. Just the fact that Sesame Street made a Twin Peaks parody called Twin Beaks is funny enough, but the best part is the bird named David Finch. DAVID FINCH, can you believe it?? No, because you don't care.



So that was great, but can I point out what a dumbo the first commenter is? Sure, it would be a great idea for Elmo to dress up as a midget and dance. And it would also be awesome to have Sesame Street's Bob, known for his calm and gentle demeanor, dress up as a denim-suit-wearing, long-haired, sadistic soul killer (oh, oops, spoiler) that gave me, a 22 year old, horrific nightmares.

A little GodTube for y'all!

Did I go on GodTube and just type in "grandmas"?  Maybe I did.  Should I be studying for finals?  Yes, but Kerry has been on my back about this stuff, so here you go.  I love the wacky music in the background.  It totally sets the mood.  The kid is so sassy, especially when he looks at the camera and says, "She's the king...of all of 'em," while shaking his head.  Look at those eyes.  He's daring you to challenge him.  Without question though, my favorite part of the video is the incorrect link at the end.  It tells you to visit Kids TalkAboutGod.org.  I think they misspelled "Grandmas".  

Christmas Wrapping

Yesterday I heard the song Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses, and I wanted to find a video of it because I was curious about what the band looked like. But instead I found this, which is way better! At first you might think, Why am I just looking at someone's darkened assortment of Texas-shaped Christmas ornaments, but it gets better. Okay, it doesn't get better, but it does involve animals. To be honest, this is about the level of video editing I would be able to do. Just kidding--I couldn't get a hat to change colors like that. Trippy!



I think I am going to send this out to people instead of Christmas cards. But I am a little concerned at the shot of that man lying in the snow that's interspersed with all the dog and cat shots. He looks very "To Build a Fire"-esque.

Gettin' Paid

We are in the planning stages of a new business venture. I don't want to say too much until it's finalized, but rest assured that if all goes according to plan we are going to be diving into a pit full of gold dubloons, Scrooge McDuck style.

Zombi 3: Electric Boogalee

Alex sent this to me awhile back. It's a trailer for the movie Zombi 3. It's awesome for the following reasons:

1. It's nearly 3 minutes long.
2. It's called Zombi 3.
3. The music.
4. Duh.



I think youtube user lucypunch said it best 7 months ago: "Shitty movie, but still good to watch."

Pizza review

I found this by just typing "pizza review" into youtube.  I'm glad I did, because now I know where to send in my resume.  Verbal skills not so great...because my mouth is always full of fuckin' pizza.  Oh PizzaWars.net, if you don't hire me I don't know who will.  

Puppy Porn

This looks just like the puppy on the Muppets! You know the one (you meaning Alex). Also, that video has over 16,000 views, despite only offering one puppy. Forget tagging your youtube videos with "lesbians," you need to go for "puppies." Also again, the people in this video have some annoying laughter. Watch it on mute, like puppy porn.

Lynchtastic

I love documentaries. I also love creative types. I really love documentaries about creative types, especially when said creative type is my favorite director/human being David Lynch. This is the trailer for the documentary, simply titled Lynch. The fact that there is a documentary about David Lynch is the reason I wake up at morning, secure in the knowledge that there must be some good in the world after all. I am thinking about transforming this never-read blog into a sort of Lynchspace, wherein all Lynchformation can be deposited and perused. Maybe someday, but for now here is the trailer for nobody to watch since nobody reads this blog.

Puppies.

This blog is now a place where Winfreys can share important videos. Namely, youtube videos of puppies, put to a soundtrack of Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me." Alex e-mailed this to me, with the subject line, "Did someone read our minds and then make this video?" I think that is exactly what happened.

Here it is my babies.

This is a new short film made by my friends and I. It's probably the most elaborate thing we've ever filmed. Those are real scrubs! I hope you enjoy it.

Thing we like.

Businessmoose

This is a picture of a businessman moose that Alex drew for a tshirt.

Finally, Chase

Finally, it's whutchall been waiting for...Chase's comics. Chase doesn't know how to use the internet, other than to check art supply websites and play Runescape (but not anymore, he swears!), so I'm posting this character sketch that he's already scanned into the computer. His name is Stuntman Ham and, well, now you know about as much as I do.



Chase is suffering from some major "cartooning block" right now, but maybe there will be more soon.

Portrait of a Lady/Basketball Star

Alex seems to have flown the coop for the night, going camping or some BS when we were supposed to be watching Stayin' Alive (i.e., the Sylvester Stallone-written-and-directed sequel to Saturday Night Fever, in case you're feigning ignorance). So I guess while he's off freezing in a tent with some dudes, I'll undertake the great burden of sharing artwork with the internet.
Behold this watercolor portrait of Shaq. Alex did this sometime last year and wasn't terrifically pleased with the results, likening the smiling mug to that of Hootie and the Blowfish lead singer Darius Rucker. I, however, think that it captures Shaq's je ne sais quois. Basketball great, giant, genie, and tireless crusader against the plight of childhood obesity: is there anything Shaq can't do?*

*eat couscous. He refuses to eat couscous.

Hey y'all

You asked for it.

Now here it is. The Winfreys are taking this internet by force. Let's kick things off with a list of things I found underlined in my english book.
-Dick was fierce, and Dick was pure of heart
-Converting Dick into a symbol
-Destroying Dick in the most savage way
-seperate Dick's "dark soul" from his skin color
-The mystery of Dick's motives

A Poem From Alex

In the Talented Winfrey Family, sharing is caring. Not sharing germs or food or love (gross), but specifically sharing clothes. Chase once wore a pair of Mom's blue jeans to school, never noticing that they weren't his and weren't even designed for his sex. This incident immediately sent Alex into a creative frenzy, and after an entire night spent furiously typing and smoking Virginia Slims, he produced this poem:



Chase

He wakes up in the morning
feeling kind of boring
He sees a pair of pants
decides to take a chance
a smile on his face and a secret in his heart
he steps out the door with a wave and a fart

“Dang,” he thinks, “I look fine”
“only one problem, these pants aren’t mine”

Food

A birthday cake for a four year old; a Jello mold modeled by H. Davis; a batch of cupcakes decorated by Kerry and Dan.

A Picture From Alex

This is a picture that Alex drew of Fall Out Boy. They are wearing dresses.

Introductory Post: Who is The Talented Winfrey Family?

This is a poorly scanned photo of Alex and Chase, two of the three Talented Winfrey Siblings. This blog is intended to launch us into Superstardom by showcasing our works and wares, as well as our good genes.

Our goal is to become a Talented Super Family, much like the Sedarises, Glasses, or Tennenbaums. Yes, two of those examples are fictional, but that hardly matters. So, who is The Talented Winfrey Family?

-Chase, 13, is a cartoonist and the mastermind behind Blue Rocket Comics--perhaps you've heard of them? Chase works hard and plays hard, rushing to meet deadlines but occassionally indulging in a sinful mixture of hotdogs and pool water. He has the temperament of an artist, flying into a rage at the slightest provocation, but he can nearly always be calmed with the promise of a freshly popped bag of popcorn or some new colored pencils. You can find Chase in front of the computer or, more rarely, in his studio. His biggest concerns right now are increasing Blue Rocket Comics' fanbase, making it through eighth grade unscathed, and finding out when the cafeteria is going to serve Bosco Stix again.

--Alex, 18, is standing at the precipice of what will surely be a promising career in either film production or making fart noises into the telephone. Possibly both. Alex acheived early Clear Fork High School fame with his first full-length film, T-Unit. Fame didn't treat Alex well; the pressure to produce paralyzed him, and he sat on the couch in his sweatpants for years, unable to do anything but watch Wings reruns. Now that he's back to creating, his Art is uniquely informed by what he refers to as "The 'Wings' Years." He doesn't confine himself to film; he also works in watercolor, collage, and cupcakes. When Alex isn't mopping floors at a local Christian summercamp, he's most likely trying to convince you to smell gross things or making up new words for Fergie songs.

--Kerry, almost 22, oscillates between gradiose hope and extreme despair, which makes for writing that is wildly inconsistent and unpublishable. Some of the highest points of Kerry's life have been when she won second place in the Arbor Day poetry contest in third grade and when she won an award in fifth grade for her radical, anti-war poetry. The lowest point in her life thus far is realizing that these have been the highest points. Kerry is graduating and looking for a job, a new set of cake pans, and a reason to live. Her preferred method of working is to do a half-assed job for 75% of the project and then give up.



Prepare to see a variety of artwork, writing, film, and food. Our Talent is not constrained to just one genre, but instead manifests itself in every area of our lives. Please be aware that what you may see on this page is not intended for minors and may cause offense. Remember that in the Winfrey Family we do not believe that Art is merely entertainment; instead it should challenge preconceived notions, clash with authority, and sometimes even showcase Fall Out Boy in a less than flattering light. Regardless of what we post, we stand behind it.