F U, AV Club

The Talented Winfrey Family is a place for positivity, not negativity, so I'm not going to dwell on this, but the AV Club has a list of the Worst Films of 2009. I guess that's a great way to spend your time if you enjoy reflecting on all the things you hate! I don't, though, so you're not going to see any lists like that here (The AV Club wins this battle, though, by being the blog that's actually read by more than one person). It's one thing to take down a film that's on an undeserved pedestal, but to make some snarky comments about Paper Heart, a movie that didn't do all that well and that people seem to have largely forgotten about, just seems lazy. Of course, the reason I mention this is to remind you to see Paper Heart now that it's out on DVD.
Quoth The AV Club: "From the “what is love” premise to the “what is real?” structure, Paper Heart plays like a movie dreamed up by people who were very, very high at the time. Which would be fine if they weren’t also the kind of people who think of “love” in an elementary-school, passing-notes-at-lunch kind of way, and not in a way that has anything to do with commitment, responsibility, sharing, nurturing, and—not incidentally—sex. When they grow up (or sober up), Yi and Jasenovec ought to find this movie awfully embarrassing."
Well, okay. I'm sorry, you didn't like this movie because there wasn't sex in it? I don't know, go watch another movie. I feel like complaining because a movie isn't what you wanted it to be is pointless and silly. To be disappointed because a movie with potential did not reach said potential is understandable, but it's back to the Papa Winfrey's Pork Chop conundrum once more. That pork chop is always going to be a pork chop, no matter what you say about it. And Paper Heart is always going to be light, sweet, and funny. It isn't supposed to be deep, or sexy, or about "responsibility" and "commitment." The real life love stories were very sweet, and some of them were sad, but most importantly they all seemed honest. Maybe The AV Club writers need to watch Paper Heart a few more times and stop being such old grumps. Or maybe they just need to write their own movies since they hate all the other ones so much.
I won't talk about this anymore, I promise. But go ahead and rent Paper Heart. It's fun to watch and it won't make you sad, which is more than can be said for most of the movies I watch.

Paper Heart

Charlyne Yi, you guys! Why was I ever on the fence?

Let's talk Paper Heart. Going into My Paper Heart Experience, I didn't know what to expect. I'd read entirely negative reviews. I read that it was too cute. I read that the documentary/faux-documentary style was too gimmicky and confusing. And I read that the font was bad. Apparently that's a normal thing to complain about when you review a movie. Sure.
I don't know why I believed all those jerks. This was one of the best movies I've seen all year (to be fair, I haven't seen a lot of movies). Charlyne Yi is extraordinarily likeable, and so is the rest of the cast, including the "director" Jake Johnson and everyone's favorite, Mikey Cera. And you know what? All the reviews I read, for some reason, had SUCH a hard time comprehending how part of this movie was real and part of it was scripted. It drove all those old dudes crazy! I can't figure out why. The interviews were obviously coming not from a mean-spirited place (like in Borat), but from a place of genuine interest. But I thought the saving grace of the movie was that it never veered into saccharine, optimistic territory. It didn't present falling in love as the end-all, be-all of a person's life, nor did it assume that all love stories have guaranteed happy endings. It was, overall, exactly what I said I was looking for: a realistic love story about a young woman! One that doesn't focus on clothing, money, or end with a wedding. Maybe we should all see more movies like this, with a funny, intelligent woman in the lead, instead of whatever God-awful romcom is out now. I mean, I like a good romantic comedy, but The Ugly Truth? Come on.
In short: Why you should see this movie:
1. Charlyne Yi writes fun music!
2. Funny interviews with kids!
3. Puppets!
4. There is a scene in the zoo!
5. The real love stories are actually hilarious and heartbreaking, occasionally at the same time!

Uh Oh.

I was all set to make a post about Charlyne Yi and how awesome she is. I used to not like her because I heard she was dating Michael Cera, and also for some reason I thought she was older than she is. Then I found out that she was 23 and not dating Michael Cera and I decided I could like her. I mean, I love Zooey Deschanel as much as the next person that likes looking at pretty things, but I think it's cool that an actress/female comedian (comedienne, if you will. Do people still say that? I don't think so) can be the lead in the film without putting the focus on her appearance. And I'm really looking forward to Paper Heart. Alex and H. are probably getting tired of my oft-repeated "Where are the smart, realistic romantic comedies fronted by women?" rant, because it's something I complain about all.the.time. I was kind of thinking that maybe Paper Heart would be that movie. Except then something happened. I read an interview with Charlyne Yi, and she said this:

“I think a lot of girls are very catty and just weird and sassy. I prefer to hang out with guys. I like calm hangouts like playing instruments and talking.”

Oh, no. I think all the ladies know: it's bad news bears when a girl says she "just doesn't get along" with other girls. Or that girls "just don't like her." Or that she thinks guys make better friends. Why the hell would you say you can't be friends with an entire gender, let alone a gender that includes you? Ugh. That whole sentiment just reeks of pretentiousness and that whole "I'm not like OTHER girls" vibe just makes me want to barf. Also, 95% of the time the girls who say this don't have girlfriends because they are MEAN. Sure, Charlyne Yi. Because girls can't have "calm hangouts" or "play instruments" or "talk." Most of my friends right now are ladies, and they aren't catty at all. They are sassy, though. She's right about that.
I've not given up on Charlyne Yi yet. She probably thinks I have, because I'm so catty and all. I'll still watch her movie.