Something That Used to Scare Me

If you know me even a little, then you know I have a long, long list of fears, neuroses and anxieties. It's a little comforting to know that even as a child I was irrationally fearful. Take, for example, the one thing that scared me most as a kid (besides tornadoes, fires, rollercoasters and bicycles, that is): the intro to You Can't Do That on Television.

As an adult, I can look at that rationally and see it for what it is: an unashamed Monty Python rip off. But even now just seeing that gives me the nervous jitters. It's a combination of the sickly, washed-out color scheme, the unsettling noises, and the speed of everything. Sometimes at night I would lie awake, just thinking of that guy's terrible face cracking up (I wish I was kidding). When this came on TV, I would run out of the room and go hide in my parents' room behind their bed. Whatever, this is terrifying. Shut your mouth.

Philip Zimbardo/Something Only I Care About

Ever since I was a small child, I've been interested in abnormal psychology. I used to read my dad's old college copy of a psychology textbook that probably wasn't terribly accurate, seeing as it was from the late 70's/early 80's. For a brief while, I even thought I wanted to be a psychologist. Then I figured out that psychologists actually had to learn things about science; they didn't just get to look at pictures of cats that schizophrenic people drew, which was what I was getting out of that textbook.
But oh man, did I love that textbook. It was written by Phillip Zimbardo (or else it just featured pictures of him, not sure!), who is famous not only for conducting the Stanford prison experiment, but also for looking kind of weird.

As a kid, I didn't know that Zimbardo was famous; I just thought he was a weird dude in an old book. Imagine my surprise when he showed up in my high school psychology studies as well as my college classes. Also once I saw him on The Daily Show, which was a super-weird surprise. My best friend and I always thought he kind of looked like Satan, or at least an actor who would be playing Satan in a made-for-TV movie.
Anyway, I found this video...the best of Philip Zimbardo.

This is worth watching. The part where he's holding the baby made me laugh AND cringe. ALSO, I found the pictures of cats that a schizophrenic man drew! You can see why I was drawn to them.

Sleater-Kinney

There's no real topical reason for posting this, just that this song's been stuck in my head, and working all day in an office kind of feels like this video sometimes. I spend a great deal of time around that type of envelope, so I'm just gonna g'head and make some wings out of them. And, of course, Carrie Brownstein is one of my biggest heroes. I really don't think Alex will like this song.

I'm Probably the Only One, But...

I know this is more a result of me being weird and creepy, but does this Edward Sharpe video remind anyone else of Manson Family footage? I can't be the only one who thinks so.

I'm probably the only one who thinks so.

The One Where I Defend Weezer

My very first concert was Weezer at the Blossom Amphitheater when I was 16 (I think?). My dad took me, Alex, and my best friend. Weezer was my favorite band at the time, and I was wholly convinced that it was the best night of my life. I don't know why I thought that. It's not like I slept with Rivers Cuomo or anything. Regardless, I loved them the way only a teenager can love a band (it was the same blind, adoring love I brought to the Smiths, Ben Folds, and bands far more embarrassing). I'm glad they were my first concert, and I'm glad my dad took me, and I'm glad that Little Alex wrote an essay about it and made fun of me for being so annoying and weird. I'm also glad the A.V. Club is around to remind me, and you, and all of us that Weezer isn't the horrible band we all think they are now. I mean, I am still not going to buy that new album. It seems pretty bad. But there was a time when I used to pore over the pages of Spin magazine, reading articles about Rivers Cuomo holing up in his room and writing literally hundreds of pop songs, like a less crazy Brian Wilson. I really thought he was going to do different things, and it makes me a little sad, but who knows? It could all turn around.

Hannah Takes the Stairs

This weekend H. and I watched Hannah Takes the Stairs, renamed Hannah Who Cares? by Alex. It's yet another entry in the unfortunately-named genre known as mumblecore (ugh, who writes this stuff?). Greta Gerwig plays the titular Hannah, and she's pretty titular if you know what I mean (I'm trying to awkwardly say she is always taking her top off). I was surprised at how much weird, non-necessary nudity was in this movie. Not that I was offended, because who cares, but the movie began with a shower scene and ended with a bathtub scene (I get what you're doing there, Swanberg).
The actual movie itself was really boring, which is hardly a damning critique coming from me. I've been known to enjoy a boring movie in my time, and I enjoyed this one well enough. Mostly I was just frustrated though. A lot of filmmakers are involved in this movie--Andrew Bujalski (weird dude of my dreams), a Duplass Bro., Todd Rohal--but I really can't figure out how so many people could work on a movie with so little going on. The plot is pretty much this: Hannah breaks up with her boyfriend, starts dating another guy, sleeps with his best friend, ends the movie playing the trumpet in a bathtub with said dude. Which is fine. Whatever. Great movies have consisted of less. I guess what turns me off so much is the air of importance that this movie has. Like Hannah's quest for happiness is so noble or unique, when we all know that it's not. Near the end of the film she has this insufferable conversation with one of her coworkers (right before they have sex, natch) where she tells him that she feels bad because she's just "using him" to make herself feel better, but he's a real person with problems and she shouldn't just turn to him for an unburdened good time! Welcome to Things We All Figured Out When We Were Twelve.
And, honestly, I can't get behind any character who would dump not just a Duplass Bro. but Andrew Bujalski (who just can't catch/write himself a break). She's tossing aside independent filmmakers like they're her clothing or something. We should all be so lucky. H. was not at all impressed by Andrew Bujalski, but I've always found him quite charming! I know he's kind of funny looking (and he has very hairy legs, as we find out) but he always comes across as sweetly vulnerable and nice.

I'm just saying. I know which one I'd pick.
There were a lot of things I didn't like about this movie, but I'm glad it exists. It's nice that someone can make a low-budget movie in a month with their friends and then have that movie shown all over the world. More people should do that! I just hope they're, you know, a little more interesting.

Hall and Oates!

Winfreys love Hall and Oates. It's one of the few things we can all agree on. But I realized that I don't really know much about Mr. Hall and Mr. Oates; I just knew their beautiful harmonies. Until I found this article, which is itself about another article, one from a 1985 issue of Rolling Stone where Daryl Hall makes some weird, incriminating statements about the band and his sexuality. Oates, for his part, shrugs it off (actual quote: "Oates shrugs it off.").
The weirdest statement comes from Hall after the interviewer asks if he and Oates ever hooked up (an aside: why would you ask that question? Aren't we all better off assuming that they did not?): "The idea of sex with a man doesn't turn me off, but I don't express it. I satisfied my curiosity about that years ago. I had lots of sex between the ages of three or four and the time I was fourteen or fifteen. Strange experiences with older boys. But men don't particularly turn me on. And, no, John and I have never been lovers. He's not my type. Too short and dark."
Strange experiences with older boys? Tell us more, Hall! Alas, the interview quickly turns to different subjects, most of them just as controversial (Hall says he's the best singer he knows, he compares the duo to the Beatles), some not so controversial (did you know they did a tour sponsored by a chewing gum?). Through it all, Hall eats pasta. Oates shrugs. It's compelling stuff.

Working Girl

I caught part of Working Girl on TV awhile ago, and I'm not ashamed to tell you (okay, I'm a bit ashamed to tell you) that when I was a little girl, I thought my life would be pretty much exactly like this:

I'm not saying that I assumed I'd be saying things like, "I've got a head for business, and a bod for sin," but I did think that being a secretary was, like, the most glamorous thing in the world. Sometimes I still think that. Then I realize that I'm not wearing shoulder pads, I don't have a business-sexy haircut like Melanie Griffith, Joan Cusack is not my sassy, sexually-aggressive best friend, and Harrison Ford is nowhere in sight. A girl can dream, though, right?

You like what you like.

Papa Winfrey always says, "You like what you like." Papa Winfrey says a lot of things, not all of them appropriate for the blog. But he's right, you know? You can't control what you like. I mean, I can't control that I've always liked Wham!, or that when I was a kid I totally had a huge crush on George Michael. And I can't control that when I got older, I bought both his solo album Faith and the Wham! album Make it Big from my Driver's Ed teacher (I also bought Prince's Purple Rain. It was 3 for 1 dollar, and I still feel like I made the right decisions). This song is a personal favorite of ours. Yeah, that's right, Alex likes it too:

Of course, Alex found out about this song not through an irrational love of Wham!, but the way normal people do: through comedy videos. We love Jon Glaser.

Nilsson Schmilsson

Deep in a Harry Nilsson phase right now. For me, a combo of interesting personal story and catchy pop music always leads to a lethal obsession. All Harry Nilsson songs are good, obviously, but this one is haunting me. I know this is in a movie that we've seen a lot, but I can't remember what it is.

I tried to warn her

I was like, "Kerry, someday you're going to regret posting this video," but you know how she is.

Mackey.  Mackey.

Kerry's Boyfriends back in town.

This guy is Kerry's boyfriend.  She broke up with the old one.  This guy's knowledge (and appreciation) of yacht rock is exactly what she's looking for.   Also, she really loves his sunglasses.

I don't agree with Chicago being on this list.  That's all I'm going to say.  

Style Blog!

A topic that Alex and I haven't discussed much on the blog is fashion. Which is weird, because we are both so stylish! Okay, to be fair, Alex kind of does dress nicely. I just dress like a 17 year old boy all the time. I know I'm no authority, but I would like to discuss one my favorite looks: cowboy.
Why more people don't dress like a modern cowboy is beyond me. It is a look that is flattering to all and pretty cheap to attain. All you need is a hat and some weird facial hair and you're done. Bonus points for a vest or boots.
My favorite example of the cowboy look (and one of my favorite writers!) is Richard Brautigan.

You'll find another good example of the cowboy look in this clip from David Letterman. It's Captain Beefheart, obvs. I really love David Letterman and his interviews. This one is so awesome. I wish people like Captain Beefheart still made music. Captain Beefheart himself has just holed up somewhere, and I don't see anyone around who's ready to become the New Beefheart.

Captain Beefheart is my new obsession. It's safe to say you'll be seeing a lot more of him around this blog. Do you know how often I am going to say, "I wish I knew who was doing that. They need a spankin'?" Pretty often.

This is a long one.

Since Alex is being so earnest and talking about things he actually likes, I thought I'd share something I really like: the Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels.
It is almost exactly like this:

Except imagine that one of those characters is wearing a bandana/hair extension combo, and the other two are former strippers with completely ridiculous fake breasts.
Here is what happens in every episode of Rock of Love:
One of the girls is like, "Oh, hey, I used to be a stripper and also I have completely ridiculous fake breasts."

And then Bret says something like "Yowza," or makes some motion with his finger that implies a boner or makes this gross orgasm face:

But then one of the girls tries to talk to him...

And Bret gets bored.

But don't worry, there are more boobs:

So then Bret feels better. And then this happens. A lot.

And then at the end of the episode, either the most boring or the most unattractively crazy chick is voted off. Now here's something I really want to show you. This young lady was, for some reason, voted off in the first episode. Maybe it's because she looks like a Muppet?

Of course, I mean a Muppet with giant, unwieldy fake breasts. I kind of feel bad about talkin' smack, though, because of this comment from her on that picture:
nikkifromrockoflovebus (01.20.09 | 10:14 AM)KEEP MY NAME IN YOUR MOUTH!! LOL!! TALK ALL THE SHOT YOU WANT I WAS DRUNK BUT WHATEVER MAKES U FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELVES!! I GUESS IM ON UR MIND OR U WOULDN'T BE SAYIN THIS CRAP! CHECK MY PAGE AND IF U REALLY WANNA SAY SUMTHIN SAY IT THERE!! I LOVE ALL THE ATTENTION !1 THANKS! LMFAO! IM THE ONLY GIRL THAT'S GONNA SAY **** CAUSE I DON'T GIVE A **** IM JUST BORED SO THOUGHT I'LL SAY SUMTHIN TO ALL 188 POSTS!1 YOU THINK U KNOW ME BUT I DONT KNOW **** ABOUT YOU SO KEEP IT COMIN IT'S ENTERTANING!! keepin it real and go check my site since ur all up here WWW.DJLADYTRIBE.COM DO YOUR HOMEWORK !I ADMIT I WAS ****** WASTED DRUNK BUT WHAT I LOOK LIKE IS NOT WHO I AM INSIDE SO HIDE BEHIND UR COMPUTERS AND DO WHAT U DO BEST SIPPIN ON THAT HATERADE .. MAYBE YOU'LL SEE SUMTHIN DIFFERENT BUT I DONT REALLY GIVE A RATS ASS FREE PUBLICITY ! MUAH!! BESOS XOXO LUV THE HATERS AND MY FANS! KEEP IT COMIN ! LUV IN IT!

Well, okay. I guess she is not a scary, hypersexualized Muppet on the INSIDE, and that's what counts.
In all honesty, any criticism of these ladies does feel a little too easy, because the vast majority of them are strippers who are, no doubt, looking for the gravy train to lift them up out of their lives. Bret Michaels, I appoint you Sir Gravy Train. But still, they are all straight up bitches who wear ridiculous clothing, so my sympathy can only go so far.
Who's willing to have sex with an aging, diabetic "rock star" in order to become "famous" for approximately two months?

That's what I thought. Keep up the good work, girls!