Wait...

Am I the only person that didn't know about this song? I mean, yeah, this fan-made video is fantastic, but the song? Putting things in your butt is almost always funny.

Andy Daly

Andy Daly is someone that I like more the more I see of him. He was amazing in Eastbound and Down, and I've heard some of his material from his album, 9 Sweaters, and I liked it a lot. He also seems like a really nice guy. What I'm saying is, Andy Daly, you've been promoted to The Dudes. Enjoy the rest of your life.

One of his characters.

Interview. He seems super nice. Also, what was this show that Michael Blieden did? Also, Michael Blieden seems nice.

Polanski Redux

The David Lynch in my head is the David Lynch that puts things like this on twitter:
I built a fish over the weekend. You?

And then a few hours later, writes this:
For those asking, my fish is made of plaster, wood, wire and epoxy.

In-my-head David Lynch is currently battling it out with Real-Life David Lynch right now, since Real-Life David Lynch signed this (from Videogum, obviously). I've been coming up with ways to justify this all day (because that is what I need to do, because I am a totally normal person!) and here's what I've come up with: David Lynch is probably friends with Roman Polanski, and you defend your friends, right? I mean, if one of my friends was accused of murder I would probably still not want her to go to jail. Or whatever.
I guess Alex ought to get busy printing up those TEAM POLANSKI tees, because the demand is far greater than I ever anticipated. Tilda Swinton called, she wants her TEAM POLANSKI baby tee STAT!

This is their city.

How much fake rapping is on the internet? Too much. Cracked Out is actually funny though. This isn't one of their songs. Check those out too.

I'm ashamed.

I don't even really think this is funny. I just thought about it, and it didn't exist, so I kind of felt obligated to create it. Whatever. Click for all the detail.

I've been writing...

and I've learned everything I know from this guy. He's full of advice. Keep it funny!? It's just like, why didn't I think of that before? I was writing this stuff, wondering why it wasn't working...it just wasn't funny. Also, a skit sounds really weird. What I'm trying to say is, what am I going to do with all this extra money, because I'm dropping out of college.

Thought on Polanski

Did you guys watch The View today? I didn't* (even though, on my Mondays off work, I've been known to), but I read Lindsay's article about it on Jezebel. Alex and I have been talking a lot about this. There's always an icky, uncomfortable feeling that comes along with liking the creative work of someone who's done horrible things in their personal life. Well, I can only speak for myself, but I assume others would agree. It has always been hard for me to reconcile that some of my favorite films are made by a man who left his wife for her adopted daughter (I'm talking about Woody Allen, of course). And last week, we all learned about Mackenzie Phillips's incestuous relationship with her father, which makes enjoying the Mamas and the Papas all but impossible. Most of us aren't capable of divorcing an artist's creative output from the context behind it. I can't ever hear "You Look Wonderful Tonight" on the soft rock radio without thinking of Eric Clapton writing it for George Harrison's wife, nor can I hear "Lady in Red" without thinking about how the singer wrote it for his children's babysitter. I'm not even entirely sure that last one is true, but it's still all I think about.
What I'm saying is, it's difficult for me to think of Roman Polanski as someone who drugged and raped a 13 year old child. But he did.
Alex has a new business venture that's come out of all of this...t-shirts that say TEAM POLANSKI. He'll apparently have at least one customer, and that customer is named Whoopi Goldberg! Probably no one else though, aside from the entire country of France.

*I watched The Golden Girls instead. Blanche's daughter wanted to have a child through artificial insemination, hilarity ensued.

Food

This is just what I'm going to do now: give a roundup of everything I've cooked lately. All of these posts could be titled, "This is Why I'm Chubby." Oh well.
This weekend I made:
Whiskey Glazed Carrots -- Highly, highly recommended. All you need is whiskey (that's how I found this recipe, actually. I had a half bottle of whiskey left over from a cake I made and I certainly wasn't going to drink it), brown sugar, butter, and carrots (duh).
Pork Chops with Golden Apple Sauce --I can't seem to stop making this. I think I've made it four times now, but it's seriously one of my favorite things to eat.

Tonight I'm making Chicken Paprikash. Let's see how it goes. Also of note, I had a Banana Bread Disaster of epic proportions yesterday. The oven needed to be cleaned when all was said and done.

Free Ideas, Take One!

Note: Alex and I came up with the idea for this movie based on the popular (I guess?) bumper sticker/religious right saying, "Aren't you glad your mother was pro-life?"

PRO LIFE
Starring Samuel L. Jackson
A classic revenge-action-thriller wherein Samuel L. Jackson systematically hunts down and kills anti-abortion activists (or really anyone, I guess. The movie could go a few different ways, your pick!). As he points his gun at them, he utters his famous catchphrase, "Don't you wish my mother wasn't Pro-Life?"

Admittedly, we came up with this during the 2008 presidential election when people said that a lot more and this idea was a little more topical.

SNL!

So SNL started its new season last night, and no one was more excited than this girl. Probably not even the cast members or their immediate family members were more excited than me. I can't help it--I've always loved SNL, ever since I used to watch it in elementary school at my best friend's house (because obviously there was no way Mama Winfrey was going to let me stay up late enough). Back then, I thought every single joke was laugh out loud hilarious, because I was ten and they were adults. Also the cast then included Cheri O'Teri, Will Ferrell, and Chris Kattan, so the jokes were kind of right up a ten year old's alley anyway.
For some reason I keep making the mistake of reading internet comments about SNL. Like on Jezebel, for example. I don't know why I keep doing this. These are people who don't like sketch comedy in the first place, like to bitch about how nothing is funny, and just complain all the time. Ugh, the internet. For the record, I loved last night's episode! I love almost all the episodes because I still feel like I'm ten years old, staying up way too late. I am still really excited about the new cast members, mostly Jenny Slate. She's so awesome, right? And hopefully her life story will not be as depressing as Charles Rocket's (it won't be). And I don't think Lorne Michaels will fire her, insane internet commenters, mostly because Lorne Michaels didn't fire Charles Rocket, because he wasn't even working on the show at the time.
As usual, I've spent two paragraphs rambling about something that doesn't matter at all to my main point. This is why I was so bad at writing papers. The point is...remember how, after Casey Wilson was fired from SNL, people said it was because she was too fat? Talk about adding insult to injury/job loss. You just lost your job, and everyone thinks you're fat. This is what Casey Wilson said about it:

“I had an amazing time on SNL, and these rumors are completely untrue. And to clarify, the issue isn't that I'm too fat, it's that I'm too phat. Can I get a WHAT-WHAT!”

She is the best.

Hey guys. I saw a movie.

I went and saw Paranormal Activity last night....with this lady.

Anyway, it was a sold out midnight showing, and it was totally bananas. It was so much fun! I would definitely recommend it. There were a few people that didn't like it. The couple walking out in front of us were saying, "Like, that would scare me if I were in seventh grade. Yeah, it creeped me out a little bit." There was also a comic-book-guy type screaming something like, "Give me Saw V, Saw VI, Saw VII anyday!" I guess he didn't like it either. Other than that though, everyone was super into it, including that lady up there. There were a lot of whispers of, "holy shit" and "fuck that". Winfrey seal of approval.

Just the goods

I found this compilation of guest stars from Tim and Eric Nite Live. Exciting.

Oh oh.

This is a very rough draft of a potential poster for a new sketch show that I may or may not be producing tentatively titled "Baby Mountain". Would this make you want to watch it?

PS

Emphasis is on "mountain" not "baby". Like the opposite of Baby Mama.

New Game

This is a new game that I play, and I must admit I'm pretty good at it. It's called "Notice A.D. Miles When He's In a Movie You're Watching". And I found him in Bamboozled. I'm good. Also, apparently David Wain is in Bamboozled! In case you're wondering, I'm not just lounging around watching Bamboozled. I know, I know it seems like something I would do! In reality I'm watching it in class. By the way, watch this video.

Carrie Brownstein, Y'all

It certainly has been a day, today, hasn't it? So let's focus on something to make us all happy. You probably saw this trailer on Videogum, or maybe you just read the post and didn't watch the trailer. Well, you should watch it!
Some Days Are Better Than Others
Obviously, that's Carrie Brownstein. Okay, that's enough for me! The movie will be great. I've mentioned my love of Carrie Brownstein before, but I don't know if I've emphasized how MUCH I love her. She does it all. She acts in comedy sketches with Fred Armisen. She writes a blog about music for NPR and appears on All Songs Considered sometimes. She was in a great band (Sleater-Kinney, duh!) that I got to see on their very last tour ever (before you start thinking I'm way cooler than I am, I really just went because my friends did. I enjoyed myself immensely, but I'm not going to front and act like it was my idea to see them. The first rule of The Talented Winfrey Family is no frontin'), she's writing a book of non-fiction, and she always manages to look super great and have amazing clothes. I want to be her so badly.
I have a feeling people are going to bitch about this trailer. Sure, there are some surface similarities to Miranda July's Me and You and Everyone We Know, but who cares? Also, we haven't seen this movie yet. Who knows what it's like? I have enough faith in Carrie Brownstein to assume that this movie will be great.
Also, I'm pretty sure at least one of the dogs in the trailer is her actual dog.
Oh yeah, and if you still don't believe me that this movie will be awesome, just take a look at thispicture. Sweet room, yellow sweatervest, and possibly crafting (what is that giant stuffed thing?). I'm gonna drive all the way to Cleveland (or Columbus, or Athens!) to see this movie.

Taco Party

Yes, we've all read this, but have you had it read to you by Michael Ian Black himself. I hope not. If so, what are you doing here?

Elegant Readings With Michael Ian Black: TACO PARTY - watch more funny videos

The Larry Sanders Show

So I knew that I could watch this online, but I didn't know that I could watch it in its entirety for free on Crackle.com. Did I mention it's commercial free? Ya welcome.

Nashville

Do you ever see a trailer and think to yourself, "I'm going to love this movie"...? This trailer for Nashville isn't even that good, but I know I'm going to love it anyway. Country music, Shelly Duvall, Jeff Goldblum, someone who has to strip to get what they want (always a good plot device), weird bearded dudes...what's not to like? Let's see it!

Freaks and Geeks!

You may or may not have known this, but I love Freaks and Geeks. I had it on DVD, and then I didn't have it on DVD anymore. Somehow, someway, I'd lost it, a fact that came to light at a remarkably inconvenient time (20 minutes before going to a Freaks and Geeks viewing party). For about two years I drove myself crazy looking for it, but after going through two moves and packing/repacking all of my material possessions, I had to face facts. It wasn't just misplaced, it was gone. Alex swore that his friends didn't have it, and I knew that none of my friends had it. H. and I were convinced that a certain friend of his had stolen it.
And then, this weekend, it came back into my life.
It turns out one of Lexie's friends had it! Unbeknownst to me, Alex spent the past few months trying to get it back. Apparently getting someone to return a DVD is akin to hostage negotiations. You can't just barge in there and make demands, you've got to smooth talk 'em. Or so I assume. Either way! Let's not dwell on the anger or bitterness. Instead, let's celebrate.
Here's a clip of Bill Haverchuck dancing. Incidentally, this is exactly how I dance. Come on, shake it! You won't break it!

Martin Starr is such a good actor, it blows my mind away. He is truly a mindfreak. How can he act like he does in Adventureland and act like this here? So good! Anyway, if you like Freaks and Geeks (you do, right? If not, who are you and why are you reading our blog?), do yourself a favor and read Paul Feig's Superstud. You'll be pleased and horrified to discover that Freaks and Geeks was almost entirely based on his real life.

Jennifer's Body

There are some movies Alex just won't see with me. Like the Sex and the City movie, for example. Okay, so sure, I've only ever seen about five episodes of the show, but I still kind of wanted to go. Alex was not having it. He had the same reaction when I suggested seeing Jennifer's Body. That's Alex for you. If there are two things he hates, they're SATC and Diablo Cody. But my insatiable love for horror films, Adam Brody, and watching things that are bad means that I kind of want to see it.
Maybe this articlewill convince him, but probably not! I have a feeling he doesn't care about the female empowerment angle (and to be honest, neither do I!) but it sounds fun, right? Am I the only one who thinks so?

Bosom Buddies!

I have a great treat for you.
Mom got the 80s television sensation Bosom Buddies from the library. She loves it. So much. And as soon as the theme song started, I loved it too. Mom was all, "I don't remember this. I don't think it was the original theme song." Turns out it wasn't! Originally, Billy Joel's "My Life" was the theme song, but it was sung by someone else. For some reason on the DVD release, they use a version of the end credits song with vocals. Either way, this is one of the best intros I've ever seen. There are so many butt shots! Even Chase was impressed (it takes a lot of butt shots to impress Chase).
Here's the "My Life" version:

And here's the version we saw (well, without the introductory part):

The butt shots! The young Tom Hanks! The Peter Scolari (where are you now?)! It's all around great. Apparently the guy that did this show also did The Larry Sanders Show and he cited Bosom Buddies as his greatest television experience because it was so much fun. It seems pretty great from this intro, doesn't it?

More of the same.

This kid. The reason that I posted this, is because this boy has such an unusual way of speaking. Yes, his voice is strange, but listen to what he's saying. I like to think that someone like, say, Charles Dickens actually spoke like this. Charles Dickens is all like, "My name is Charles John Huffam Dickens, but you can call me Bumpity Boo! I know, I know, England streets in the Victorian era are supposed to be hot and sticky, but this was just too hot and too sweaty!"

And everyone is like, "That's great Bumpity Boo. When are you going to tell us what happens next in your stupid serials?"

Netflix

Kerry's always talkin' about getting a Netflix account. Well, I just found a reason to. It's called Puppetry of the Penis. Check out the synopsis.

This bizarre but compelling cult theatrical hit features two naked Australian men -- David Friend and Simon Morley -- who have the amazing ability to play tricks using nothing but their genitalia, in tandem with hilarious commentary. Filmed at the Forum Theatre in Melbourne, this performance shows some of the duo's best work. Please note: Due to the nature of the performance, this video includes full-frontal nudity.

The best part is the last sentence.

Mama Winfrey

I like to give you guys a Mama Winfrey update every now and again. And by "update" I really just mean a song that she likes. Her taste in music never ceases to confuse and astound me. We already know she likes Tusk (Tusk!). She also tends to, for some reason, like songs that are either about being severely heartbroken or engaging in meaningless sex (sometimes both). Mama Winfrey is full of contradictions. She generally disapproves of any kind of vaguely immoral conduct from us, but her hypothetical iPod playlist points to the wild child hidden inside (I should note that she also listens to a lot of Josh Groban, so, you know).
Last week she told me that she loves this song, "I Didn't Mean to Turn You On" by Robert Palmer. Full disclosure: I actually get really excited whenever this song comes on the soft rock radio at work. Maybe to you it doesn't sound like anything out of the ordinary, but it seems radically different from the schlocky ballads I spend most of the day listening to. Quietly sinister is an apt description, I think. I also have a soft spot for Robert Palmer. His devotion to that strange aesthetic is really something else, don't you think? And on top of that, he was a pretty good looking guy. I mean, it is believable that he would accidentally turn someone on whilst only trying to be nice (only tryna be nice). He told you twice, okay?
This video won't embed because, like I've said before, music companies don't understand the way online promotion works. So here's the link.

Pick-me-up

Just silly.

Swayze

My roommate's reaction to the news: "Oh, that's no good." Truer words were never spoken.

Yentl

I have no idea why I'm watching Yentl right now, but I am. This movie is creepy and weird, you guys. I am so uncomfortable watching Barbara Striesand pretend to be a dude. She's hardly convincing, and she sounds exactly like Sophia from the Golden Girls. Also, Mandy Patinkin is the inexplicable dream dude.

I don't really have any intelligent thoughts about this. I just wanted to share that picture.

Pie

Ever since Our Only Reader Lauren introduced me to Joy the Baker, I've been kind of obsessed. I started out with her S'mores brownies a few months ago, made the aforementioned Strawberry Cake this weekend, and last night I made this Orange and Cream Pie. It's currently chilling (I mean that it's staying cool AND that it's just kickin' it) in the fridge, and while I planned to wait until dinner to tuck into it, I really don't think that's going to happen.
In case you're still wondering what I'm cooking, tonight is chicken and bacon kabobs with peanut sauce. My tastebuds are all like, "Hells yes!" and my arteries are all like, "Hell no."

Family Guy

No one likes Seth Macfarlane, including this interviewer.

More of the Same

Um, holy moly. Just take a look at this and then get back to me.
My dream.
That is a Golden Girls cross stitch, right? I mean I didn't just dream that, did I? This person has a whole shop of this stuff, including Woody Allen and Tom Selleck. I obviously need to get a lot better at cross stich immediately.

Something You Won't Be Interested in, Probably

Well, I found something that has really helped me figure out what to do with the rest of my life:
It's Twin Peaks inspired cross stitch.
I really do think it's cool when someone can take needlework and somehow make it more modern and related to pop culture. I also feel like this is finally a way I can combine my love of needlework and my love of David Lynch. If you'll excuse me, I have a blanket to finish (unfortunately it has nothing to do with Twin Peaks).

This is the last time I'm gonna talk about this

I would just like to note something on the topic of my previous post: Apparently, everyone on my facebook friends list is also watching the MTV awards! I don't feel quite as lame now, except that I still totally do. Also, some dude's status was, "Just remember everyone...Kanye voted for Obama." I'm not sure what that means. I have a feeling it is supposed to be an insult to people that voted for Obama, but I'm really not sure. The real question here is...why am I still facebook friends with someone that dated a high school friend of mine for about two months four years ago?
Also, Russell Brand just made a date rape joke about Megan Fox and no one liked it. Poor Russell Brand. He is trying so hard to make MTV offensive and it is barely working. MTV should get a host with morals, you know?

What I'm Doing Tonight/Why I'm Pathetic

I really love awards show. I look forward to the Oscars every year with a sort of pathetic eagerness. But really, the MTV Video Music Awards? I watched them last year, and I'm watching them right now. I'm not entirely sure why. Part of it stems from the fact that I used to love watching this when I was about 14. Everyone did then, right? The movie awards were always on right when summer began, and the video music awards were on when it ended. Somehow, probably because I was 14, it all seemed really edgy in a way that it doesn't now. Now it all seems kind of lame, mostly because the only people who really seem to care are people who work at MTV. The channel tries really hard to show us how shocking and important the show has been, running specials about awards shows of years past as if they're trying to convince us of its relevance. Last year, someone on my facebook friends list complained that Russell Brand should not have been the host and that "MTV should hire a host with morals." That is probably the only time that MTV has shocked or offended anyone in the last 10 years, so good for them, I guess.
But the other reason I like to watch stuff like this stems from my fear of missing something that everyone else is talking about. I still remember what it felt like in high school when I showed up one morning and everyone was talking about how crazy it was when Justin Timberlake ripped part of Janet Jackson's outfit off at the Super Bowl. I felt left out, and guess what? There was no youtube then.
Actually I'm a little glad I am watching because Kanye West was just actin' a fool! That was actually kind of sad, you guys! Isn't Taylor Swift, like, 9 years old? He should take out his crazy on someone his own size/with a similar hairdo.

Prank Calls.

There's something very appealing to me about watching an actual funny person make a prank call. What is it? Oh yeah, it's that it's funny. Obviously Tim and Eric are funny guys, and this video's old, but it's hard to find good prank call videos on youtube.

Potato Salad

The State - MTV Shows

Things I've Cooked

In case you wondered how fat I'm getting, here's a list of what I've cooked/baked in the past week:
Steak Sandwiches
H's Mom's potato salad
Jerk Chicken with Pineapple Salsa
Chocolate Pie
Spinach and Bacon Salad
Crab Cakes
Crash Hot Potatoes
Strawberry Cake
That strawberry cake was only H's FIRST birthday cake. I'm making another one next weekend. Ay yi yi. I don't know why I do these things to myself.

Another Game

Here's another fun game to play at a party (and again, by at a party I mean with your brother). This one's a little more inclusive than Nicolas Cage Off. It's 20 Questions: TV Character Edition.
It's exactly what it sounds like. 20 Questions, but your picks have to be characters from television shows. We've only played this a couple times, but so far it's been weird and wacky. Some of my picks have been Kimmie Gibler from Full House and D.W. from Arthur. Some of Alex's picks have included Luke's sister from Gilmore Girls (surprisingly hard to figure out) and Baby Sinclair from Dinosaurs (surprisingly easy to figure out). Some good questions to ask when you're trying to figure out a name include: What decade was the show from? Is it animated? Is the character in high school? And a great question to start with is always "Is it Roseanne?" You never know. It might be Roseanne, and it's just good to get that out of the way.
This game is best played between people who have roughly the same television frame of reference. For example, someone you grew up in the same house with, maybe.

Sequel!

I'm assuming you've heard about the J.D. Salinger lawsuit. Apparently, some guy wrote a sequel to The Catcher in the Rye and J.D. Salinger got pissed (people should know not to mess with notorious recluses). So he sued him. Good for you, J.D. Salinger. You are striking a blow on behalf of people everywhere who are tired of shitty knockoffs of classics. Anyone who's been to a bookstore lately (probably not J.D. Salinger) knows that there are countless books based on the lives of characters from Gone With the Wind, Jane Eyre, and (of course) Pride and Prejudice. Seriously, Target stocks like 50 books and about 25 of those have the words "Mr. Darcy" in the title. Who wants to read about the less important Bennett sisters? Or about what Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth did after they got married? Those books should all be retitled Yawn. Zzzzzz. Oh, Sorry, I Fell Asleep While I Was Reading Your Fanfiction.
But anyway. I know that I could easily look up the title of this Catcher in the Rye knockoff (I guess there's this thing called Google?), but I choose not to. Instead, here are some guesses as to what the title is:
Catcher in the Rye 2: Still Catchin'
What I Caught in the Rye
Catcher in the Barley
Probably No One Would Have Paid Attention to This Book if it Weren't for J.D. Salinger's Lawsuit
Catch-22 (already taken, so now there could be two lawsuits)
I'm sure you have some ideas. Let me know!

Eraserhead

On Thursday night, I watched Eraserhead for the first time. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, But aren't you always talking about how much you love David Lynch? Actually, you aren't thinking anything, because you aren't anyone, because no one reads our blog. But still. It doesn't make much sense that I love David Lynch, yet I haven't seen his first film, the one that notoriously took him years to finish, the one that made him famous, the one that the government included in the National Film Registry because it is "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant."
Well, yeah, but listen...David Lynch has a finite number of films, and once I finish them, I finish them. It's the same reasoning behind why I didn't read every Lorrie Moore book in one week. I like to know that there are still David Lynch movies out there that I haven't seen.
So I watched Eraserhead, finally. This clip sums up the experience:

You will probably enjoy it, if you're in the right mood. There was actually one scene in the movie that was almost too gross for me to watch. If something makes me say out loud, "Oh, gross," then I know it has been effective. Seal of approval!

Chase's contribution.

Occasionally I like to think about what Chase would put on the blog if he was able. This is one of those things. This is Joe Pesci's hip-hop song from the My Cousin Vinny album. It's worth noting that this is the only song on the album not done in the Vinny character.

Chase's favorite part? "I don't drive by. Cuz I'm a wise guy. I just stop by, with a couple of guys, and I take your eyes. Cuz I'm a wise guy."

Is this real?

Internet, you're confusing me. Can this be real? It's just that, well, you've lied to me in the past. I know, I know. How could anyone make this up? Look, internet, all I'm saying is that I'm going to be sleeping with one eye open for a while. Happy 4th of July!

There's no way this is real.

Presented without Comment

I Think I Chose the Wrong School

Turns out that imaginary school that Werner Herzog talked about isn't imaginary at all. It's called The Rogue Film School.

Re: Prince

Kerry loves Prince. I don't know that much about Prince. One thing that I do know is that there are a lot of songs written ABOUT Prince. Here's a couple of them.

Guess which video I like more. Hint: It's not the one that looks like my nightmare.

Late Post with Alex Winfrey

Whasssup Internet? Just letting you all know that this weekend may be a little slow for the blog. I've got some stuff going on. Not like, emotional stuff. Like, secret project stuff. Anyway, this video made me Laugh O Loud, and I was alone! If this doesn't sell you on Paul Rust (as if you haven't already been sold) then I don't know what will. I was afraid it was going to be like The Rutles, so I hadn't watched this video for a few days. I was missing out. Big time.

The Fourth Flop Top from Jon Daly

Also, you guys should listen to Wild Beasts, if you aren't already. Remember what I said about that video up there? I meant it. It's great.

Game

Here is a fun game to play at a party (by "party" I mean when you're hanging out with your brother). It's called Nicolas Cage Off.
The rules are pretty simple. You alternate naming Nicolas Cage movies until one of you runs out of titles. The last one to say a Nicolas Cage movie wins. For example! If Alex were to challenge me to a Nicolas Cage Off, I would accept. One of the rules of the game is that you always have to accept. Then I would name a Nicolas Cage movie. "Moonstruck," I would say. Alex would counter with another Nicolas Cage movie. "Matchstick Men," he would say. And so on and so forth until I can't think of anymore Nicolas Cage movies and Alex wins.
The last time we played this game was two or three years ago. I've been doing my research, waiting for the right time to pounce.
Oh yeah: this game isn't any fun to play with people who don't know that much about Nicolas Cage. Sorry.

Awfully good.

One of the great tragedies of my life is that I've never seen a John Waters movie. Well, sorry. It's not like we have some sort of hip video rental place around here, and I've never been able to illegally download movies (it feels weird! Can't I have morals in one area of my life?). So until I break down and buy some John Waters movies, or make friends with people who have great DVD collections, I will just admire him from afar. This interview is pretty great! You learn all about the things he hates, which include but are not limited to iceberg lettuce (offensive) and clogs. Plus, you know how Winfreys love old Letterman interviews.

I want that book.

Herzog on Herzog.

I had just one class today so, like any Winfrey does, I went to the library. Obviously I got this book when I saw it. How could I not? Anyway, I've already found some amazing things. It's such a shame that more people don't know that much about Werner Herzog, because a Werner Herzog reality show sketch would be amazing. Kind of like that Lisa Loeb show where she tried to date people. Except, Werner Herzog would be more concerned about not succumbing to the overwhelming evil of the world. Here is what I learned:

1) He was super not into doing this book. When asked to be interviewed, he faxed back, "I do not do self-scrutiny. I do look into the mirror in order to shave without cutting myself, but I do not know the color of my eyes. I do not want to assist in a book on me."

2) If Werner Herzog created a film school, he would only accept students if they'd walked 5,000 kilometers, and kept a journal of their experiences. He would read the journal and know if they actually walked the distance. He also would have a boxing ring, and required boxing training every night from 8-10. In addition to boxing, he would require classes in juggling, sparring, somersaults (backwards and forwards), and magic card tricks. "Whether or not you would be a filmmaker by the end I do not know, but at least you would come out as an athlete."

And I've only read 16 pages.

Someone Found the Recipe For a Winfrey Wet Dream.

Certain things make a Winfrey say "Aw hell yeah." Kind of like a reverse Will Smith. This is one of them.

Bruce Dern

I like him. He fathered Laura Dern, so he can't be that bad. Also, he was great in The King of Marvin Gardens. It's weird to see an actor that you know of in a movie and realize that you want to see every movie he's in. Kerry and I had this experience this summer with a Mr. Charles Grodin. Anyway, I highly suggest this movie, but good luck finding it at the library. Am I the only one who sees similarities between this movie and The Darjeeling Limited and Bottle Rocket? I must be, because when I googled "The King of Marvin Gardens+Wes Anderson" nothing came up.

On another note, it seems like Jack Nicholson's credits are expanding in the past. Like, every few months I find a new movie that he was in from the seventies. Does he have a time machine and an amazing work ethic? Also, why is it that the back of the DVD reads, "Jack Nicholson (1997 Best Actor, As Good As It Gets)"? The dude won an Oscar for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. He's also been nominated for Chinatown, The Last Detail, Five Easy Pieces, and Easy Rider.

In all this excitement, I almost forgot my reason for coming here, which was to post this

Winfrey's Excited.

This guy is so excited about this news. Am I the only one? Why does everyone hate this idea so much. I could understand if they had Rob Zombie directing it, but David Gordon Green is so good! I guess not everyone likes him. Whatever happens, this is going to be a totally interesting and original movie. Winfrey out.

Take My Hand with Your Glove of Love

So this is what I was talkin' about... Kirk Van Houten's (i.e., Milhouse's Dad's) "Can I Borrow a Feeling?" It's been stuck in my head.

Bob Odenkirk He Ain't

In case you didn't know, I have an unfortunate interest in serial killers and cults. This is unfortunate because I am also the most scared person I know. I mean, I live my life assuming that I could be attacked and killed at any moment, so I really don't need to watch the History Channel's special on Manson, aptly titled "Manson." But here I am, 45 minutes into it.
So far, it's weird. There are interviews with Catherine Share (who was called Gypsy by the Manson family, but she probably wasn't named after a Fleetwood Mac song like H's rabbit), as well as some dudes who are apparently Manson historians (dream job! How do I get it?). But the makers of this special made a weird, weird, weird, choice. Instead of using actual footage from this time (Youtube assures me there's more than enough to fill a two hour special), they opted to recreate pivotal scenes. Entertainment Weekly said that the re-enactments give it a made-for-TV-movie feel, and they are right! I feel like I'm watching the strangest Lifetime movie ever made. Also, the guy they picked to play Manson looks strangely like Pete Yorn. And honestly, he does not act that much like the Charles Manson I've seen on TV before.
This is how Charles Mason acts, right?

Which isn't to say that it isn't interesting. The most interesting part (for me, anyway) is that Catherine Share looks like such a normal person now. She's wearing a jacket, lookin' like someone's mom. Yet she was totally caught up in this crazy cult that started out with LSD and orgies and quickly evolved into a barely logical murder scheme.
The re-enactments have become more violent (Mason just cut off an ear!) so I'll end this now. The last time I watched a special on the Manson Family ("Unsolved Murders of the Manson Family"), I had horrific nightmares. I don't think this will have the same effect, but we will see.

You're Welcome

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

A good cover.

I know. I don't do this very often. This is a cover that I actually enjoy, and also it is not filmed in someone's basement with a webcam. It's an Animal Collective cover too! Very rarely are these good. You get songs like this. I hate that stupid band. Anyway, I like this song a lot. It's by Taken By Trees.

A good video

I liked this video a lot. It was funny throughout, and it didn't just rely on the joke at the end. The joke at the end is funny though.

The Voice - watch more funny videos

Back to my old tricks.

So school is back in session, and that means that the blog is going to pick up again. Strangely enough, Kerry and I are less motivated to post things here when we can just kind of shout about it into the next room. Anyway, things are going to be a little different around here. Just kidding. They're going to be entirely the same. Here's a video of a terrible cover.

"...and I tried to do another Reggae Jimmy John, if you know what I mean." I don't.

The Shining

Just a quick note until I have time to make a full post on this. I watched The Shining for the first time last night (I know, I know) and I was amazed and horrified. I expected it to be ho-hum scary and instead it was oh-shit scary. It's in my Top Ten Movies of All Time For Now list, I think (in case you wondered, that list includes Blue Velvet, Rosemary's Baby, Staying Alive, Pretty in Pink, The Jerk..you know, all the greats). But the most interesting factoid I discovered whilst doing research is this: Harry Dean Stanton was supposed to have played the role of Lloyd the Bartender. Oh, what might have been! This gives me an opportunity to once again use my favorite tag.