I'll stop with all the trailers

but seriously.

We should have gone to Hawaii. This looks like a horrible joke.

Is this real?

Internet, you're confusing me. Can this be real? It's just that, well, you've lied to me in the past. I know, I know. How could anyone make this up? Look, internet, all I'm saying is that I'm going to be sleeping with one eye open for a while. Happy 4th of July!

There's no way this is real.

Satellite of Love

Kerry once gave me a mix-tape that had only this song on it 14 times.   

Roger Ebert, I thought I knew ye

Roger Ebert, you fucked up.  I saw Star Trek last night (like everyone should have), and was delighted.  It was so delightful.  Anyway, today I'm checking up on my man Rodge and wondering, "What did he think?"  Well, he went the weird route of critiquing the logic of the film.  He didn't even pick out the time travel based questions that I had.  In fact, one of his criticisms about the film was a COMPLETE MISTAKE.  Here is a quote from his review: "The logic is also a little puzzling when Scotty can beam people into another ship in outer space, but they have to physically parachute to land on a platform in the air from which the Romulans are drilling a hole to the Earth's core."  Okay, there's a couple things wrong with this.  To begin, at this point in the film, they did not have Scotty aboard the ship.  That's a minor issue, because nearly everyone can beam people up (just not as good as Scotty).  Here's the biggest problem.  Mr. Ebert, if you'd been paying attention, you would know that the reason they even parachuted to this giant drill was because it was blocking their teleportation abilities.  The captain specifically said that.  They went there with the sole purpose of destroying it so that they could teleport.  I feel like Rodge just read the sparknotes for the film.  Actually, I feel like he just skimmed the sparknotes.  A rare miss for you, Mr. Ebert.  Better luck in the future.

This guy really liked Burn Notice

I don't want to say that this could be Chase when he gets older, but...

My favorite quote, "She's like a big whore, and she gets naked in a lot of the shows, but you just see like, the back end of her.  Like her ass and her back."

or, "It's not even from America and it's one of the best shows."

I don't expect you to watch this, but you can just click almost anywhere during it's 10 minute run time, and you can hear something kind of funny.