WHAT IS THIS.

I've watched a lot of weird movies in my time. Around the Winfrey house, that's basically what we do for fun. What I'm saying is, I might be easily amused, but I'm not easily surprised. Yet when I watched the trailer for this Japanese horror film that Netflix suggested to me, all I could think was, "What the fuck is this?" I'm not the one studying films in school, though. Have you heard of or seen this movie?

At first I was like, "Thanks but no thanks, Netflix." Now I am like, "How soon can you ship this to me?" Bonus points for the wackadoo sitcom intro stuck in the middle of this trailer. What's the deal with the trippy 60's music? What's the deal with the cat painting that looks like the work of a schizophrenic? What's the deal with this movie? I intend to find out, but I'll probably wait until Lexie's home.

Do You Remember This?

Netflix recommended this movie to me, for reasons that aren't entirely clear. I completely forgot about this, but I remember it being really sad. I can't believe this movie was ever made. What a dumb premise.

But then I found a Robin Williams with a (possibly) dumber premise: The Best of Times! It's always a treat to see the films that time forgot. At least Kurt Russell always looks fine. Seriously, what a babe!

Are we going to watch Fatso over break?

Of course we are.

This trailer gives a lot away. I almost feel like we don't even need to watch this movie anymore. That Dom DeLuise silhouette at the end is pretty hot, though.

I Need This in My Life

Burt Reynolds being Burt Reynolds, Liza Minelli in sequins and fur, angry police department scenes...I love everything about this.

This was funny.

The idea is pretty silly, but it was really well done! I mean, this seems like a trailer.

What Do You Do With A Problem Like Harmony Korine?

At this point, the amount of time I spend thinking about Harmony Korine is inversely proportionate to how much I like what he does. That is to say, I do not enjoy his films. I'm trying, though. It really irritates and saddens me when people don't attempt to like, or at the very least understand, a film, book, or piece of music. I majored in English and took a film class, and it was amazing to me how often people would come to a work with a closed mind, prepared to hate it. At least in my lit classes, people were generally so desperate to appear intelligent that they were willing to analyze and seriously consider just about anything. But an attitude that came up a lot was, "I don't understand this, so I don't like it." I don't ever want to be like that, so I really do try hard to appreciate a film or book as something that a person (or many people) spent a lot of time on. I mean, wouldn't it be depressing to go through life hating everything? It totally would.
That being said, I COULD NOT WATCH JULIEN DONKEY BOY.

Yikes, you guys. I was being semi-serious with all those pretentious ramblings above, but the point I want to make is that even with the best of intentions, that is a hard movie to get through! I've said it before and I'll say it again: Harmony Korine, what is your deal?
The Believer's recent film issue has an interview with Mr. Korine himself, and he manages to confuse me even more. He is married and has a kid. He edited Trash Humpers entirely on a VCR. A VCR! He loves to tap dance. He may or may not be a compulsive liar? Also, he looks like Steve Perry.

This post was mostly an excuse to post that picture.

Negative Nancy Part Deux

I saw Hot Tub Time Machine this weekend. I had extraordinarily low expectations going into it, so I figured that I couldn't be disappointed. I'm a pretty easy moviegoer to please; anytime I can zone out and watch some lowbrow humor I'll probably have a decent time. Kerry from a few years ago would've said she liked this movie. She would've said that because there were funny guys in it, and because the guys in the theatre liked it, and because saying you DON'T like a movie that's crass, filled with boobs, and maybe just a bit misogynistic gets you labeled a prude or a humorless bitch. But present day Kerry is emboldened by reading Julie Klausner's awesome book. Also, I remember Amy Poehler saying in a speech directed towards young girls, "Just because a boy says something is funny, it doesn't mean you have to laugh." This is all a roundabout way of saying that Hot Tub Time Machine seemed like something I would've seen on a date when I was 19, back when I still pretended I liked things (metal music, terrible remakes of horror classics, hanging out in basements) to impress guys.
But it did have my boyfriend, Clark Duke, as well as a very funny Chevy Chase and a relatively clever gag involving Crispin Glover. Also, the great Lizzy Caplan was in the movie for about 5 minutes, but she managed to elevate the whole thing with her husky-voiced charm. I love her! This movie, not so much. I love a good vomit joke (see: Paul Rudd in I Love You, Man) as much as the next guy, but just the mere sight of vomit does not count as a joke.
As Alex mentioned in his previous post, we try not to spend too much time here talking about what we don't like, so I found something really positive that came out of this situation. One of the trailers we saw was for this Queen Latifah vehicle (also starring Common).

Queen Latifah is such a tough trainer, you guys! I love that this trailer packs in so many great rom-com cliches. My favorite: a joking physical tussle that leads to a moment where the characters, now precariously close, stop and stare into each other's eyes. If I ever write a romantic comedy, you'd better believe I am using that one. I really hope Alex will see this with me.

So funny

Guys, I know I need to get my head in the game. These last few weeks have been a blur of Monster Cookies and The Wire. Things will be better. Until then, we at least have this.

Roadhouse

This weekend, H. and I saw Pretty in Pink in a theatre. More on that experience later, provided I can get my thoughts in order (unlikely). Anyway, the theatre showed the trailer for Roadhouse, and all I can say is wow. Every line in this trailer is a an instant catchphrase (for me, in my head). Mostly "He's the best friend a good time ever had." Sure! That makes sense.

Did you spot the Celebrity Gilmore Girls cameo? Hint: she's the voice of Pepper Ann!

I'll stop with all the trailers

but seriously.

We should have gone to Hawaii. This looks like a horrible joke.

Everybody's Fine!

It's basically The Corrections: The Movie. This is definitely a terrible trailer, again. Stop making these terrible trailers. I still would consider seeing it for the always delightful Sam Rockwell. Seriously, that guy could sell me on anything.

Wowza, this looks bad.

Thank god it vibrates, right? Dumb joke alert.

Those were different times.

This movie got a PG rating. I don't think a movie can get a PG rating if it even has "blood" in the title today. Also, is this the best narrator in the history of movie trailers? I think so.

I've got some things to say.

I've been seeing this trailer a lot. Every movie I go to shows this trailer, which makes sense, because who's the audience for this movie? Anyone they can trick into going to see it. I've been feeling a lot of hate toward this movie, but yesterday I realized that all of this hatred was unfair. I still don't care about this movie, but I don't hate it. I realized that if this movie were to come on television, and it was raining or something, I might watch it. Kathy Bates is in it. I could see myself being drawn into the story the same way I am drawn into AOL news stories (Is this costume offensive?) I realized that everything that made me upset was based on the trailer alone.

Let's look at the trailer. It could be placed in an episode of SNL that Sandra Bullock was guest-hosting, and I think it would get some serious laughs. It does everything the movie does. This thing is practically a short film! A trailer should not have this many people in it! At this point, I know every character in the film, and every plot point. I'm sure John Lee Hancock is a proficient director and everything (did anyone see The Rookie? I didn't), and I'm sure his film is okay, but who did this? Someone was payed to create this trailer. It's disgusting that they have so little respect for their audience. What happened to trailers you guys?

It's hard to believe that there was ever a time when this was an acceptable trailer. Isn't Alien great?

TROG

For some reason I can't figure out, Alex posted this trailer as his facebook status instead of putting it on the blog. Duh, Alex! We have a blog! It is made for this kind of thing. It's a trailer for the film TROG, starring Joan Crawford (the trailer will not let you forget this fact):

Yes, please! I love it. Those poor kids on the playground. They're gonna get it and they don't even know it. Apparently this was Joan Crawford's last film, which is weird (to say the least). In Alex's status, he asked if anyone had seen it. Well, maybe you should've read the Youtube comments, because user "dingdongs4" said:
"i saw that movie retarded"
There's your answer! I saw that movie retarded, indeed.

Nashville

Do you ever see a trailer and think to yourself, "I'm going to love this movie"...? This trailer for Nashville isn't even that good, but I know I'm going to love it anyway. Country music, Shelly Duvall, Jeff Goldblum, someone who has to strip to get what they want (always a good plot device), weird bearded dudes...what's not to like? Let's see it!

Class is in session.

Below these words, I've embedded the trailer for the new Michael Moore movie. Watch it. Don't worry. This isn't a post about Michael Moore who literally no one can even get angry about any more.



Why did they use that song? Obviously that song is old. Like, by a couple years. That's not a problem. They use old songs in trailers all the time. What bothers me is that they even considered using this song when it became so popular due to its use in the trailer for Pineapple Express. And that was last year. They even used the same editing pattern.

I've been meaning to make a blog post about this for some time, but this trailer finally Andy Rooney'd me over the edge. To me, this is just like when the KFC bowl swept the globe, and Popeyes quickly created the Big Easy Chicken Bowl. Aside from the name being misleading (there was nothing easy about that chicken bowl) it was just taking something that worked for someone else and doing that thing again. Paper Planes was great in Pineapple Express. Paper Planes in Capitalism: A Love Story is the Big Easy Chicken Bowl.

I just watched Days of Heaven last week, and I heard this song. They used this song in the trailer for Benji Button! I understand that it's not generally the filmmakers making these decisions (although for David Fincher it probably was), but they need to stop doing this. Everyone knows that Quentin Tarantino loves to put wacky music in his movies. That's his thing. Whoah, did you expect him to use that Ennio Morricone song in there? What we don't need is for every trailer to use the same recycled music for all eternity. It's not even used to reference anything other than another movie's success. This whole thing is going to cave in on itself while this song plays.

Duplass Update.

I don't know if y'all have seen the trailer for Humpday or not, but it's supposed to be pretty good.

Firstly it has one of the bros in it. Secondly, it totally reminds me of my friends and I (we always get in these wacky situations). I'll see it.

Film Review, Kind of

Let's talk about horror films for a moment. Do you love horror films? Of course you do. I mean, duh. If you don't, get away from here. You aren't welcome. Winfreys saw Drag Me to Hell this weekend, and we loved it. One of us saw it by himself, and the other one had to drag her boyfriend to see it (try to figure out which one was me! I included some helpful context clues). One of the things that Alex and I noticed about DMTH was that it isn't like a lot of horrible new scary movies. Par example:
1. No shitty nu-metal soundtrack.
2. It was actually nice to look at, unlike a lot of new scary movies that are all grey and brown.
Of course this movie reminded me of Evil Dead, but it reminded me a lot more of Suspiria. Not just because the opening scene took place in, like, some giant ballroom place. It has a female lead, nice colors, interesting music. Agree/disagree?
All of this leads me to this. Have you ever wanted to know what Edgar Wright thinks of the American trailer for Suspiria? Probably not, but this is kind of a neat concept. I love trailers.

Will this be good?

I've got mixed feelings.  I like Star Wars.  I like John Francis Daley.  I like Mr. Blue Sky.  I like Jon Brion music.  This trailer is just sending me mixed signals.  This trailer told me, "I'm just not that into you," and I don't know if I should try to convince it otherwise.