Powerful.

I've just been watching this all morning. You should probably do the same.

Cheer up everybody

It's a messed up world out there. One thing that you can count on is William Wegman's dog Man Ray always being funny.

Nope.

Winfreys definitely don't agree with this. Mostly because Sally Field HAS NEVER AGED. That woman popped out of the womb looking exactly like she does now, and frankly, I don't trust her.

There's no need for this.

Sometimes we don't really eat well at the Winfrey house (I'm looking at you Sausage Gravy and Biscuits). But we don't eat like this. Come on. Are we monsters?

That's a Krispy Kreme donut bun. I'ma go nuts.

This is kind of neat.

This is old news, but somebody took the theme song from the UK Office and put it over the opening credits for the US Office. It's pretty neat.

Ian McEwan

I was searching our library's online catalog for Ian McEwan today when I came across something very, very curious.

Did you know Ian McEwan wrote a children's book? Well, he did!
When I saw this cover, I knew it was familiar. Then I remembered that I'd read it as a child! I mean, obviously Little Me was going to pick out a book with such a weird cover. I don't remember a single thing about the writing itself, but that cover still makes me feel a little uncomfortable just like it did when I was a kid. If only I'd known then that one day I'd be reading that same author's really unnecessarily descriptive account of semen drying.

Beautiful Ohio

I Netflixed the movie Beautiful Ohio based on nothing more than the name. As I've mentioned before, I love Ohio. Who doesn't? The answer is jerks.
Anyway, as I was doing my usual research, I discovered that we have a state song. If I was a football fan I would know this, but I'm not so I didn't. Apparently the OSU band plays the song Beautiful Ohio all the time. Here's a lovely version that sounds more like Beautiful Hawaii. I really love it.

Some roly-poly little bat-faced girl

This is kind of embarrassing, but I try to live my life by the Papa Winfrey rule of "You Like What You Like," so here goes. I love the song "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon. It cheers me up like no other.

It's kind of a grey day, so go ahead and treat yourself. I mean, it's worth it for the horn section and the Chevy Chase alone.

Weird Song

Aziz Ansari talked about this song a lot this year, and I have to admit, it's been haunting me. I hope it haunts you too.

For Alex

I remember almost every lyric to the Destiny's Child song "Nasty Girl." It came out when I was pretty young, and I remember my best friend and I listened to this album constantly. Destiny's Child really set themselves up as some sort of paragon of virtue, dignity, and integrity (as they remind us in the song), which seems strange given that Beyonce's musical career now revolves just as much around sex as it does around her vocal talent (we've all seen the video for Videophone, right?). It's really hard to believe that this wasn't ridiculous once. Or, I don't know, maybe it was always ridiculous. But it's still awesome.

Some of the best lyrics: "N-A-S-T-Y, you're nasty. F-R-E-A-K-Y, you're freaky. Girl, where your prioriti-ies? Put some clothes on!" This is a serious jam, you guys.

So excited!

You guys, watch this trailer.

This looks so good! First, and most obviously, John C. Reilly. Say what you will about him. As long as what you say is that he's great. The guy has such great presence, and I always side with someone who is consistently described as "pug faced". Second, Jonah Hill. All I've got to say is, "Damn, Jonah Hill. Your acting's lookin' fine." Third, Marisa Tomei, who seems to have the same reverse aging disease that plagues Heather Graham. Fourth, and most importantly, Duplass Bros! Sure, they have their naysayers. People talk about their shaky camera blah blah blah. Put that in your butts dummies. Both The Puffy Chair and Baghead were really good, and this movie actually looks to be well lit. Let's see what happens!

Gallagher

This is old news/a month old, but wow. The A.V. Club interviewed Gallagher. You know, the comedian. The one who smashed things.
He is kind of a jerk! It's surprising how much of a jerk he is. It really makes you long for the candor and humility of, say, a Bronson Pinchot.
Sample quote:
And so we don’t really have a high level of performance in America, or even a demand that people onstage have studied, or pay attention to the performing arts. You can actually take a drink now during your show! You know, George Burns performed smoking a cigar, and never needed a drink of water on a stool. But now this has become a tradition in America. They more or less have a stool ready for you and ask, “What water ya want?” To me, as a visual artist, everything that’s in the picture should have meaning—what does a stool and a bottle of water mean?
And he just goes on in that vein for paragraphs on end. Gallagher, everybody. Ugh.

Public Apology/Sexy Pic

I used to dislike Justin Theroux for no good reason. It's just the Bradley Cooper effect at work, I guess. Then I realized he was in almost everything that I watch (The Baxter, The Ten, some Parker Posey movie, David Lynch projects). Nothing compares to his current stint on Parks & Rec, though! I love it, and I love the effect he has on Aziz Ansari! I'm sorry, Justin Theroux, for ever doubting you.
You guys have all seen The Baxter, right? If not, what are you waiting for? It's very sweet and silly. Here's a bad video of J. Theroux breakdancing:

And he has a sensitive side, too. Who knew? It turns out he's exactly like his character on Parks and Rec. I guess that's why they're both named Justin...he's just playing himself.

Always Up for a Michael McDonald Impression

This is worth it for the first couple seconds alone.

Movie Review

Hey guys. Remember when Humpday first came out, and people talked about it for a little while? Then everyone kind of forgot about it. I enjoyed it! Let's not forget about it. Mark Duplass was a delight (as always) and Joshua Leonard was great playing the part of friend with a beard. Nerdtalk for a second, it was filmed with a Panasonic HVX200. That baby costs under $5,000! Look how nice it looks!

The main reason for this post though, is to bring up a similarity that I haven't heard anyone discuss. Am I the only one that felt like Humpday was similar to Kelly Reichardt's Old Joy? I don't think so.

Both films about two old friends. Somewhat similar endings. Female directors. I'm jus' sayin'. If you haven't yet, you should watch Humpday, and Old Joy. Both films are very good.

Ebert Again

I've said some bad things about Jezebel in the past, but sometimes they really come through with a great article. Although, to be fair, Roger Ebert is a great topic. He reads all the comments on his blog! He's a total feminist! His wife is awesome! There's so much to love here.
Edit: I usually don't read the comments on Jezebel, for reasons that should be obvious, but they're worth reading here. It seems almost everyone has a funny, sweet story about a personal Ebert encounter!

Arthur

This past weekend, Little Alex surprised all of us by coming home for a night. Of course we had to do something special at Winfrey Family HQ, and that something special was watching the movie Arthur starring a young (but not that young) Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli.

Dudley Moore is like, good choice guys.
This movie was Mama Winfrey's pick. The most important thing to know about Mama Winfrey is that she doesn't like movies. She rarely sits through one without falling asleep, and I think she only ventures out to the theatre about once a year. Yet she recommended Arthur very enthusiastically, so I felt compelled to check it out. Her review after seeing it a second time was, "Not as funny as I remembered," but we still enjoyed it. The most curious thing about Arthur is not that Dudley Moore is supposed to be a young, handsome playboy (even though that is very curious!), or that Liza Minnelli is dressed like a gay cowboy version of Ernie the Sesame Street character when Arthur meets her (even though that is also very curious!). No, the most curious thing is the way the movie treats Arthur's alcoholism. Because that's what it is. The dude has a serious drinking problem, yet everyone is just like, "Whatevs, that's Arthur for you!" Aside from one elderly uncle who tells him to stop drinking, no one seems to care. There are several emotionally climactic scenes in the movie that take place when Arthur is completely hammered. At no point does Liza Minnelli say, "I actually shouldn't date you, on account of your crippling alcoholism. Also, you slept with a prostitute at the beginning of the movie, a fact that everyone seems to have forgotten about."
And then there was the theme song. You might expect a lot coming from Burt Bacharach and Christopher Cross, two men who are ideally suited to the medium of 80s movie theme songs. But this is what you get:

While most movie theme songs are content to allude to the themes and mood of the movie, this song actually describes the plot. I mean, it's called "Arthur's Theme." Some actual lyrics: "Livin' his life one day at a time/Showin' himself a pretty good time." Really, Burt Bacharach? You just rhymed time with time!
I had what I thought was a great, original idea while watching Arthur: there should be a remake, and Russell Brand should play Arthur! Then while doing research, I found this article. Apparently I'm not such a casting genius after all. I just remembered an article I read a year ago.

Genesis Vid!

I'm not even gonna bother to explain how I found this Genesis video. But...whoa.

My best friend once said that Chase could easily turn into Phil Collins when he gets older. I've never agreed more than I do now.

What the What?

Apparently someone is making a movie of the Murakami novel Norwegian Wood. How strange! I'd say I'm excited, but I seriously doubt I'll be able to see this movie until it's released on DVD, which won't be for quite awhile. Since, you know, it's coming out in December in Japan and all.
I actually haven't read this particular Murakami book, but recently I finished Sputnik Sweetheart. All I could think throughout was, "You crazy for this one, Murakami!" I like his novels/stories because they seamlessly piece together realism and the supernatural. His writing has a sort of dreamy, otherworldly quality even as it's grounded in basic human emotions like loneliness, grief, heartbreak, and mostly other depressing things. That being said, I've never been able to fully connect with Murakami's work. I don't know if it's just because the words have been translated, but for me it's like looking at a great work of art through a veil. I can tell that there's something beautiful there, but there's still something that I'm missing.
I'm curious to see how this film turns out. Film adaptations of novels usually hinge not so much on plot, but on tone, mood, and atmosphere, and the unique environment that Murakami creates will be a tough one to replicate. Either way, I'm excited!

Typically Ebertian

You all read Roger Ebert's twitter, right? Well, he said what we were all thinking after the Golden Globes:
All hail "Avatar," yes, but the year's best picture? Give me a f--king break

Our Man Richard

If you're a regular reader, you know all about our love of Richard Simmons. Well, Alex likes that one video of him. Personally, I can't get enough of the guy. I mean, look at him!

The point of this is that Richard Simmons has an autobiography. I need it!

Worst article ever

The LA times ran this article about what people expected (or feared) from Ricky Gervais as the host of the Golden Globes. They forgot to ask, who cares. Everyone's answer is so uninteresting. However, there were a few good surprises. Like Jeff Bridges, "I have no idea who that guy is. I guess I'm just going to let 'er rip." And Morgan Freeman, "I don't think he's going to bother me." Of course he's not, Morgan.

GOOP.

Okay, so I get Gwyneth Paltrow's weekly newsletter, GOOP. Don't judge. I love vague self-help almost as much as I love Gwyneth's unselfaware ramblings and INSANE "detox"/starvation plans. I also, as you know, love David Lynch. But never did I think my interests would meet.
This week, G.Pal's newsletter was about MEDITATION. Of course! Strangely enough, she'd never tried it. I'm sure she doesn't have a lot of spare time, since she is usually rising at 7 to drink lukewarm lemon water (DETOX, people, rid your body of the toxins!) and then doing 50-100 repetitions of various exercises designed to make her butt look good. As G. Pal herself puts it:
"My New Year’s resolution is to learn how to meditate. It’s always sounded like something I should do, but I don’t know how to. My friends who do it say it’s really freakin’ brilliant. They say you can’t know the peace/awareness/contentment until you do it. My brain drives me mental. I am going to start. Tomorrow. "
It seems pretty likely at this point that Gwyneth runs this whole GOOP operation on her own, without anyone checking over what she's writing, because that sounds crazy. "My brain drives me mental," really? Is that supposed to be a joke? I'm convinced that early in the morning (perhaps even before she's had her lukewarm lemon water) she just jots down some stuff and is then like, "Fuck it, I'm GOOPin' it." She enlisted three different mediation experts to describe their processes. You can guess who was reppin' Transcendental Meditation.
David Lynch's thoughts on meditation are pretty common knowledge, since that's the focus of his writing (and unfortunately his film making ) lately. He does drop this gem:
"I sat down, closed my eyes, started this mantra — which is a specific sound-vibration-thought — and it was like I was in an elevator and they cut the cable. Boom! I fell into bliss – pure bliss. And I was just in there. Then the teacher said, “It’s time to come out; it’s been twenty minutes.” And I said, “IT’S ALREADY BEEN TWENTY MINUTES?!” And she said “Shhhh!,” because other people were meditating."
Most importantly, he says that if you have a meditation-related question, you should email him and he will personally respond. Don't think I'm not tempted. Although I am not into meditation (obviously), I always admire the passion that David Lynch brings to everything that he does. I just wish it would involve new movies.

Great vid!

Alright, this video starts out funny, and then just gets better from there. Seriously, watch it. How I found this video is much less funny than the video itself, so just shut up.

W&A Wedding Same Day Edit from Menbo Ho on Vimeo.

Come on. Cheer up.

In light of recent tragedy, I dug deep to recover this video. Why am I posting it now? Because I know that it's a messed-up, confusing world out there, but I just want you to remember that for every terrible tragedy, there is something of equal value to this.

The video description says it best. "It's not supposed to be funny, but it is!!" So keep your chin up.

Roger Ebert

I couldn't get through the whole thing because, um, you know, I just had something in my eye, but Roger Ebert wrote an article about not being able to eat anymore. Skipped ahead to the last line, though: "You don't realize it, but we're at dinner right now." It's emotional, so read it when you are feeling strong.

Public Service-y

You can listen to the new Spoon album on NPR. You're welcome!

Just a Funny Picture

I'll be honest with you: I did not read this article. Women are hardly represented in late-night comedy shows, sure, we all know that. But I just wanted you all to see the beautiful picture that will greet you when you click on the link.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh

This will be arriving on Monday via Netflix.

I do not have high hopes, but I will, of course, report back to you no matter how it goes. The Mysteries of Pittsburgh is one of my favorite books. Duh. Everyone who reads it says that. I read it while on Winfrey Family Vacation 2008, right after I graduated from college. What a perfect time to read it! It's not so much that I WANT to watch this movie, but more that I feel compelled, the way I do for most film adaptations of books I love. The general bad vibes around this movie, combined with the lousy reviews and the fact that they apparently chose to combine two central characters, makes me apprehensive. But my love of Peter Sarsgaard is pretty intense, so who knows?

Maybe NSFWOIYAM (Not safe for work or if you're around mom)

All I know is that these people are Russian. I think I found some new projects to keep Kerry busy for a while.

http://fishki.net/print.php?id=61183

I haven't done this in a while

Here's a video of a horrible cover of a song that the Winfrey family actually likes

That phase

Everybody goes through it. It's not even really worth mentioning. In fact, it's kind of embarrassing that it's taken me so long. That's right everyone. I'm finally going through my Shooby Taylor phase. Shooby. 24-7.

Rock N' Roll McDonald's

I've been listening to this song. A lot.

Alfred Molina

Don't get too excited.

I've been doing some Alfred Molina research for an undisclosed Alfred Molina project that I don't think will ever get finished, and I found this! Two of my favorite things.

While You Were Sleeping

About a month ago, Lexie and I watched Lost Highway. Maybe someday I'll attempt to write about it, but NOT TODAY. The point is, I learned something about myself when I watched Lost Highway. For 23 years, I hadn't given Bill Pullman a second thought. Then, at some point during the movie, I realized that he was my dream guy. I'm not sure why. I think it was the jazz sax.

Anyway, as soon as Alex's Matrix pulled out of the Winfrey family drive, I set about rearranging my Netflix queue. The first pick? While You Were Sleeping, starring Mr. Bill Pullman and a young Sandra Bullock.
I can't lie to you: I really enjoyed this movie! It has a plot like every good romantic comedy...implausible at best, completely ludicrous at worst. It goes like this: Sandra Bullock is lonely. The film takes the familiar creative writing workshop adage "Show, Don't Tell" to heart and shows us about 15 different ways Sandra Bullock is a cliche of a lonely person. She works on holidays! She lives alone! Both of her parents are dead! She has a cat! She talks to her cat! It doesn't take a genius (or a romantic comedy scholar like me) to figure out that Sandy's life needs a little shaking up. Luckily for her, her secret crush Peter Gallagher shows up to ride the train one day (did I mention she works at a token booth? Well, she does) and gets pushed onto the tracks by some hoodlums who then run away and are never heard from again. Sandra Bullock immediately springs into action and jumps onto the track. All the while, a train is speeding towards them while deceptively lighthearted music plays and Sandra Bullock says things like, "Please wake up! There's a train coming toward us! It's going very fast!" Like, duh, Sandra Bullock, and also move. Finally she rolls both herself and Peter Gallagher to safety, and that's where her trouble actually begins. Naturally, Peter Gallagher is in a coma, and naturally, a mix-up causes his entire family to believe that Sandra Bullock is his fiancee. Naturally, she is unable to tell them otherwise, because the 1st rule of Romantic Comedy Club is Never Say the Truth! Not even when it would actually be really simple.
Then Peter Gallagher's brother Bill Pullman bursts onto the scene, lookin' like a million bucks in his reversible denim/Carhartt jacket and his all flannel, all the time shirt collection.

She's holding a cat because she's lonely. He's wearing that jacket because it's a damn fine look for him.
I want to be all like, "Ugh, those clothes, right guys? Bill Pullman's jeans were unflattering and that jacket is silly!" But honestly, if I saw Bill Pullman walking around town looking like that (like maybe at the public library is where I would see that look), I would do a double take! He knows what looks good on him, and as far as I'm concerned, if Bill Pullman's got it, Bill Pullman should flaunt it.
While I did love this movie, there were a lot of flaws. Like the idea that Sandra Bullock would ever in any way find Peter Gallagher attractive.

No offense meant to Peter Gallagher, but let's get real.
Would I like this movie if Bill Pullman was not in it? No. But he is, so let's not even think about it. He brings a certain je ne sais quoi to the role...except actually, I DO sais quoi. He growls about half of his words. "I do(growl)n't think you're Pe(growl)ter's type." More actors should growl.
It looks like the movie is on Youtube (in English AND Spanish. Lucky you!). If you've just got a few minutes to spare, maybe try one of the many musical montages that weirdos have created. I do have to say, although she certainly was living in a lonely world, Sandra Bullock was no small town girl.

Avatar

I saw Avatar over break, but so did everyone. Do you know how I know that? Everywhere I go, I hear a guy talking to another guy about it. Do you know what they say? "Man, that story was so played out, but the special effects totally made up for it." Well, shut up because it's not even worth saying that. That's like me saying, "Man, Pizza Hut pizza is really delicious if you're in the mood for it, but the quality is inconsistent and once it gave me diarrhea." That does not need to be said. It's out there. It's been said before. Leave it be. One thing that I was thinking about as I watched Avatar was, obviously, the visual effects. Yes they were good. Very good. I don't know how well they are going to age, but that isn't important. As someone who is interested in visual effects, I hear a lot of talk about people becoming desensitized to a visual effect. Regardless of how impressive it is, it's almost impossible to amaze an audience with an effect. There will never be another Star Wars. We've crossed a line, where good visual effects are no longer a great delight to see, but are more of an expectation. Along these same lines though, people are more accepting of poorly composited digital effects than they should be (New Moon, X Men: Origins, etc.) What I have to say to all of this is whatever. More interesting things have definitely been said about this. What I was thinking about watching the film was, what effect do these photo-realistic effects have on real life. How are people raised on the incredibly detailed and realistic environments of films like Avatar going to react to the REAL footage of a series like Planet Earth. How can they be impressed by something like that when James Cameron can will floating mountains into existence. Will new audiences care if a film opts for practical effects? How will things based on live spectacle, such as magic acts, be affected by this? That's all I'm going to say about Avatar, oh except that one of the worst, and least talked about, aspects of the film was the Sam Worthington's voiceover. And the story stank.

Listen guys.

Questions that I will never answer yes to that I have heard today.

"You want to hear a song I wrote about my ex-girlfriend?"

"You want me to burn you Dookie?"

"Do you want to watch Two and a Half Men with me?"

"Do you want to hear my harmonica?"

"Was Transiberian Orchestra good in concert?"

Dr. Dog

The Winter Blues have already set in. This means I'm mostly listening to slow jams. Here's one of my favorite Dr. Dog songs. It's off of their B-sides comp, Passed Away, which I really can't recommend enough. It makes me really despairingly sad in the way that most slow love songs do. For a second I thought this would make a great first dance at a wedding some day in the distant future, but then I thought that maybe one shouldn't choose a song with the word "pee" in it.

Book Club: January

December's book club pick (20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill) was a smashing success. Which is to say, we both actually read it, unlike some recent selections. It was a short story collection, and, to be honest, the quality varied from story to story. There were some I really loved and a couple that I really, really hated. But the first story ("Best New Horror") was one of the scariest, creepiest things I've read in a very long time.
Alex can feel free to write more about Joe Hill if he so wishes, but as for me, I'm moving on to the next. January's pick is We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson.

Look at that beautiful cover! This edition features an introduction by Jonathan Lethem, who, just warning you, comes across as kind of an asshole! I'll try not to hold that against the book, though. If you've been thinking about joining in, this would be a good month to do it (once again, I think it's just so cute how I pretend other people read our blog or would want to be part of our book club. Adorable). WHALITC (that is a great abbreviation!) is relatively short, and has already used the word "rot" several times in just the first few pages.

We're Back (Soon)!

Little Alex left for school about an hour ago, and I'm already sad. Hopefully, though, this will result in more frequent blog posts (because that's what everyone cares about, of course). Much more importantly, Alex is going to get to work on his new sketch comedy show, Baby Mountain! Exclamation point mine. This is the biggest creative endeavor a Winfrey has taken on since the craft show candy sale of '08 or Chase's indefinitely-postponed Comicbalooza. Let's hope it will be more successful than either of those.
And as for me? Well. As much as I hate New Year's Eve, I love New Year's Goals. I have a pretty hefty list, as usual, and it'll be a good year if I can accomplish half of them. One of said goals (that I cheated on and started about a month early) was to eat healthier. Winfreys may be blessed with a great many things (stunning good looks, above-average smarts, really large foreheads) but we were also cursed with Bad Genes, in terms of a predisposition for dietary-related diseases. Part of my "Eat Healthier" goal involves making my own granola, which, as it turns out, is super-easy, super-fast, and makes your apartment smell great. I used Mark Bittman's recipe, because we all love Mark Bittman, right? Related: I accidentally searched for "Mark Buttman" while trying to find his books at the library and I've been calling him that all week. Anyway, here's his granola recipe. Winfreys recommend!