Arthur

This past weekend, Little Alex surprised all of us by coming home for a night. Of course we had to do something special at Winfrey Family HQ, and that something special was watching the movie Arthur starring a young (but not that young) Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli.

Dudley Moore is like, good choice guys.
This movie was Mama Winfrey's pick. The most important thing to know about Mama Winfrey is that she doesn't like movies. She rarely sits through one without falling asleep, and I think she only ventures out to the theatre about once a year. Yet she recommended Arthur very enthusiastically, so I felt compelled to check it out. Her review after seeing it a second time was, "Not as funny as I remembered," but we still enjoyed it. The most curious thing about Arthur is not that Dudley Moore is supposed to be a young, handsome playboy (even though that is very curious!), or that Liza Minnelli is dressed like a gay cowboy version of Ernie the Sesame Street character when Arthur meets her (even though that is also very curious!). No, the most curious thing is the way the movie treats Arthur's alcoholism. Because that's what it is. The dude has a serious drinking problem, yet everyone is just like, "Whatevs, that's Arthur for you!" Aside from one elderly uncle who tells him to stop drinking, no one seems to care. There are several emotionally climactic scenes in the movie that take place when Arthur is completely hammered. At no point does Liza Minnelli say, "I actually shouldn't date you, on account of your crippling alcoholism. Also, you slept with a prostitute at the beginning of the movie, a fact that everyone seems to have forgotten about."
And then there was the theme song. You might expect a lot coming from Burt Bacharach and Christopher Cross, two men who are ideally suited to the medium of 80s movie theme songs. But this is what you get:

While most movie theme songs are content to allude to the themes and mood of the movie, this song actually describes the plot. I mean, it's called "Arthur's Theme." Some actual lyrics: "Livin' his life one day at a time/Showin' himself a pretty good time." Really, Burt Bacharach? You just rhymed time with time!
I had what I thought was a great, original idea while watching Arthur: there should be a remake, and Russell Brand should play Arthur! Then while doing research, I found this article. Apparently I'm not such a casting genius after all. I just remembered an article I read a year ago.