Paper Heart

Charlyne Yi, you guys! Why was I ever on the fence?

Let's talk Paper Heart. Going into My Paper Heart Experience, I didn't know what to expect. I'd read entirely negative reviews. I read that it was too cute. I read that the documentary/faux-documentary style was too gimmicky and confusing. And I read that the font was bad. Apparently that's a normal thing to complain about when you review a movie. Sure.
I don't know why I believed all those jerks. This was one of the best movies I've seen all year (to be fair, I haven't seen a lot of movies). Charlyne Yi is extraordinarily likeable, and so is the rest of the cast, including the "director" Jake Johnson and everyone's favorite, Mikey Cera. And you know what? All the reviews I read, for some reason, had SUCH a hard time comprehending how part of this movie was real and part of it was scripted. It drove all those old dudes crazy! I can't figure out why. The interviews were obviously coming not from a mean-spirited place (like in Borat), but from a place of genuine interest. But I thought the saving grace of the movie was that it never veered into saccharine, optimistic territory. It didn't present falling in love as the end-all, be-all of a person's life, nor did it assume that all love stories have guaranteed happy endings. It was, overall, exactly what I said I was looking for: a realistic love story about a young woman! One that doesn't focus on clothing, money, or end with a wedding. Maybe we should all see more movies like this, with a funny, intelligent woman in the lead, instead of whatever God-awful romcom is out now. I mean, I like a good romantic comedy, but The Ugly Truth? Come on.
In short: Why you should see this movie:
1. Charlyne Yi writes fun music!
2. Funny interviews with kids!
3. Puppets!
4. There is a scene in the zoo!
5. The real love stories are actually hilarious and heartbreaking, occasionally at the same time!

Class is in session.

Below these words, I've embedded the trailer for the new Michael Moore movie. Watch it. Don't worry. This isn't a post about Michael Moore who literally no one can even get angry about any more.



Why did they use that song? Obviously that song is old. Like, by a couple years. That's not a problem. They use old songs in trailers all the time. What bothers me is that they even considered using this song when it became so popular due to its use in the trailer for Pineapple Express. And that was last year. They even used the same editing pattern.

I've been meaning to make a blog post about this for some time, but this trailer finally Andy Rooney'd me over the edge. To me, this is just like when the KFC bowl swept the globe, and Popeyes quickly created the Big Easy Chicken Bowl. Aside from the name being misleading (there was nothing easy about that chicken bowl) it was just taking something that worked for someone else and doing that thing again. Paper Planes was great in Pineapple Express. Paper Planes in Capitalism: A Love Story is the Big Easy Chicken Bowl.

I just watched Days of Heaven last week, and I heard this song. They used this song in the trailer for Benji Button! I understand that it's not generally the filmmakers making these decisions (although for David Fincher it probably was), but they need to stop doing this. Everyone knows that Quentin Tarantino loves to put wacky music in his movies. That's his thing. Whoah, did you expect him to use that Ennio Morricone song in there? What we don't need is for every trailer to use the same recycled music for all eternity. It's not even used to reference anything other than another movie's success. This whole thing is going to cave in on itself while this song plays.

This Guy

I'm not at all excited about Inglorious Bas-turds. I have never been excited about it, and now that it is almost out, I don't care at all. I think it's cool that it has such a weird cast. BJ Novak, Paul Rust, Samm Levine, and Mike Myers? Unfortunately, that is not enough to get me to go see this movie (unless my dad wants to go). At this point, the only person I care less about than Quentin Tarantino is Eli Roth, and I keep seeing his dumb face everywhere. Check out this great interview with him on the A.V. Club. Keep it to yourself, Eli Roth.

I done did it again.

Love in This Club

This is just a song we love. I listened to this three times in a row this morning in the car.

Movie Night with H.

It's probably pretty obvious that Alex and I like movies a lot. It makes sense. We grew up watching a lot of them with Papa Winfrey, whose passion for movies (that have happy endings) knows no bounds. But H. didn't have the same type of movie-filled young adulthood. In fact, he hasn't seen most of the movies that I love. So, in a moment of weakness that he surely regrets, he told me I could show him some movies.
I will be the first to admit that I'm hardly a film expert. My film education is limited to two classes, one in high school (where we watched Psycho no fewer than three times, which is fine and all, but it wasn't really such a subtle movie to begin with) and one in college (where I enjoyed all the movies but got really bored writing papers and hearing other people's opinions, which is yet another reason I was such a bad student). I know next to nothing about a lot of classics, but a whole lot about certain weird genres. I've never seen Citizen Kane, but I have seen the climactic dance scene of Staying Alive about five times. Regardless! H. has asked for help, and help I will provide.
My first choice was influenced heavily by the events of the past week: Pretty in Pink. It fits into my favorite movie category, which is, "Movies you can sincerely enjoy, but also laugh at." I just love this movie, and I knew that H. would, too. It has drama, lip-syncing to Otis Redding, James Spader lookin' hot, a dress-making montage set to a soundtrack of New Order, and one perfectly placed F-bomb, which can be found below in one of my favorite scene. Here, Andie confronts Blane about ditching her while James Spader lurks in the stairwell:

H. called me a "filthy, fucking liar!" a lot after watching that. We also noted his many similarities to Duckie. All in all, I think our first movie night was a success. H's review was, "She should have ended up with Duckie." Agreed.

So...when's Lexie coming home?

As Joni Mitchell once famously sang (in a sentiment that's been echoed countless times since by such esteemed musicians as The Counting Crows' Adam Duritz), you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Joni was right, as always. I'd gotten used to having Alex here to watch movies with me every weekend. But now he's gone (for a few days)! On Saturday I hardly knew what to do with myself. He's backwoods camping in Tennessee with no cell reception, and H. was dancing his ass off at a wedding reception. Since I usually text/call either one or the both of them about 15 times a day, I was at a loss. So I watched a movie by myself.

The cover of Don't Look Now describes it as "A Psychic Thriller." Because there's a psychic involved (spoiler alert! Not really). It's hard for me to talk about Don't Look Now without talking about one specific thing: the sex scene. It was, hands down, the most explicit sex scene I've ever seen in a regular, rated R movie. Apparently, 9 frames (roughly half a second) had to be trimmed out of the scene to prevent the movie from getting an NC-17 rating. Only God (and I guess the people who worked on the film) knows what was shown in the half a second, but it must have been actual penetration because holy moly. I am not going to link to the scene because, I don't know, maybe you have fragile eyes or something, or maybe you don't want to watch a toupee-d Donald Sutherland having sex, but if you are curious just search for "Don't Look Now love scene" and you'll find it. In my research, I've come across some conflicting theories: one that Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie were together at the time and that this was real, unsimulated sex, and another that they just met immediately before shooting the scene and that it is not real. No confirmation from either Julie Christie OR Papa Sutherland about this, which is frustrating. To me. Because obviously these are the sorts of things I care about in a movie.
So anyway. Don't Look Now is not a "scary" movie, strictly speaking. It is more of a psychological thriller, in the vein of Rosemary's Baby or Let's Scare Jessica to Death (that vein can hold both good and shitty movies, apparently). Quick plot summary: Papa Sutherland and Julie Christie's daughter drowned, and now they are convinced that she's appearing to them in some way in Venice, where they're restoring a church. The ending is actually shocking. I gasped! Do yourself a favor and don't find out what the ending is before seeing it (even though I know Alex already knows it), because it sounds so silly just reading it, but it's actually quite creepy and effective after seeing the whole movie!
This movie was listed on both Bravo's Scariest Movie Scenes of All Time AND Entertainment Weekly's Sexiest Movie Scenes of All Time. And if you're anything like me, that's enough to make you want to see it. It's much slower paced than the trailer makes it seem, but I still think you'll really like it. Winfreys approve.

Inside My Head

The blog's been a little film-heavy lately. That's probably because we've been watching a lot of movies (insightful!). Things need to be mixed up, and since Alex is leaving tomorrow morning for a backcountry camping adventure with his bros (not literal bros, since that would be Chase, and Chase doesn't 'do' camping, I assume), it's up to me! Have you ever wondered what songs are stuck in my head? Probably not. But I'm going to let you know anyway. Be warned: these are weird. These are the songs I've been thinking about for the past couple weeks. I'm always curious about what songs other people have stuck in their heads, so let me know yours! Isn't it cute how I pretend people read our blog?
First off, a smooth R&B breakup jam:

Then, something by an iconic gay band. I can never get this song out of my head once I hear it.

Listening to All Songs Considered on my way to work sometimes means that I get a non-soft rock song stuck in my head. It's been the Yeah Yeah Yeah's Zero for the past few days.

And my favorite Prince song (besides I Would Die 4 U). I love this song more than I love almost anything in my life. Since Prince usually checks the youtubes for his music and removes it, I expect this song to be up for a few more days at the most. He won't even let people post videos of their friends singing karaoke to "Kiss." He obviously doesn't understand anything about how internet promotion works, but whatever, he doesn't need promotion. He's Prince. He can sell his latest album exclusively at Target and alienate people by giving a possibly-homophobic interview, but he's still Prince.

Uh Oh.

I was all set to make a post about Charlyne Yi and how awesome she is. I used to not like her because I heard she was dating Michael Cera, and also for some reason I thought she was older than she is. Then I found out that she was 23 and not dating Michael Cera and I decided I could like her. I mean, I love Zooey Deschanel as much as the next person that likes looking at pretty things, but I think it's cool that an actress/female comedian (comedienne, if you will. Do people still say that? I don't think so) can be the lead in the film without putting the focus on her appearance. And I'm really looking forward to Paper Heart. Alex and H. are probably getting tired of my oft-repeated "Where are the smart, realistic romantic comedies fronted by women?" rant, because it's something I complain about all.the.time. I was kind of thinking that maybe Paper Heart would be that movie. Except then something happened. I read an interview with Charlyne Yi, and she said this:

“I think a lot of girls are very catty and just weird and sassy. I prefer to hang out with guys. I like calm hangouts like playing instruments and talking.”

Oh, no. I think all the ladies know: it's bad news bears when a girl says she "just doesn't get along" with other girls. Or that girls "just don't like her." Or that she thinks guys make better friends. Why the hell would you say you can't be friends with an entire gender, let alone a gender that includes you? Ugh. That whole sentiment just reeks of pretentiousness and that whole "I'm not like OTHER girls" vibe just makes me want to barf. Also, 95% of the time the girls who say this don't have girlfriends because they are MEAN. Sure, Charlyne Yi. Because girls can't have "calm hangouts" or "play instruments" or "talk." Most of my friends right now are ladies, and they aren't catty at all. They are sassy, though. She's right about that.
I've not given up on Charlyne Yi yet. She probably thinks I have, because I'm so catty and all. I'll still watch her movie.

John Hughes

Pretty in Pink was my favorite movie in high school. It still is, kind of, I just don't watch it every week like I used to. Molly Ringwald was divine, and I absolutely wanted to be her character Andie. Except that, like most people, I've always wished they stuck with the original ending where Andie ended up with Duckie. Poor, poor, Duckie. I mean, Blane? That's a major appliance, not a name!
I'm really sad that John Hughes died. He seemed like a nice person and his movies always made me (and probably a lot of other nerdy high school kids) feel a lot better. Here's one of my favorite scenes from Pretty in Pink.

Let's Bore Winfreys to Death

I work hard for the money. When Friday night rolls around, all I want is to relax, put my feet up, and watch a movie with Alex. Sometimes we find the movie we want to watch on Papa Winfrey's endless DVD shelf, but sometimes we have to go to Blockbuster. We have pretty similar tastes, but it can still be difficult to find something we both want. Like, Alex loves action films and the only action film I like is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. And I always want to rent a movie just because Kyle Maclachlan is in it. Alex, not so much. So usually we settle on a horror film (preferrable low-budg!), a comedy from the 80s, or something that just looks God-awful. And I haven't really ever been disappointed.
Except for this Friday when we rented Let's Scare Jessica to Death.

This was easily the most boring movie I've ever seen. Even more boring than Blow Up, and I was really bored by Blow Up! Seriously, I kind of picked this movie out and I feel so bad about it. This trailer makes it look kind of interesting, or at least like something I would like. Made in the 70s, stars a bunch of weird looking dudes, irritating music, ramshackle house...but no. Just no. Absolutely nothing happened in this movie. Also, nothing is explained. Why was Jessica in a mental hospital? Why did they take her to a cemetery at the beginning? Why did Jessica marry Todd Barry? How old is she? And how the hell does the title in any way relate to the movie? Watching this was an excrutiating experience, and not in a fun way like most of the bad movies we see.
But there is one bright spot. This marks the first time I've ever laughed out loud because of a youtube comment. Read them, and then watch the video at 2:22. Alex will laugh at this, I guarantee.

More 500 Days of Summer

500 Days of Summer has one of those trailers.

By that I mean that it involves some fast-paced dancing, a song that sounds vaguely like "Where the Streets Have No Name," and a lot of running. Running in a trailer will always sell me on a movie, but even without that I would have still wanted to see this. Ever since this teaser trailer came out in January, I've thought about movie nearly every single day. It seemed like July was never going to come.
So I guess it's inevitable that I was going to be a little disappointed. But overall I loved it. 500 Days of Summer reminded me of why movies are sometimes just better than books. On paper, this would have been one boring story. But it worked on film, mostly because of all the things that Lexie already mentioned. He spent very little space talking about the clothing, though! The clothing was marvelous! I am currently on the hunt for a sweater vest for H.
Two things: Roger Ebert's review was right on the mark, as per usual.
He liked it. Also, he was a total sassy bitch about the punctuation in the title. I love it!
Secondly, this person is an asshole. Seriously. I don't want to be one of those people who claims that anybody who doesn't like what they like just doesn't "get it." But this person really obviously didn't "get" the dance sequence, and there isn't even all that much to get. Also, they dared to insult the parade sequence in Ferris Bueller? Barf.

I'll Watch This Until My Dick Falls Off

I'm not going to stand here and tell you guys to go see Point Break. I know that you've all seen it already, and I'm the one who has been missing out. This isn't me trying to defend it or convince you to watch it. This is me honoring a great piece of film.

Sometimes a sum is greater than its parts. That's the case here. Sure, it's a great cast (Keanu, Gary Busey, Swayze, Anthony Kiedis from The Red Hot Chili Peppers), but that's easy to mess up. They just did something right here. The stars were aligned. It's not the kind of movie that you watch just to laugh at either, which is weird because it's about a group of surfer bank robbers. Watch the movie and get lost in its wonder.

(500) Days of Summer: A Review

Winfreys get excited about things. Generally it's dinner, but sometimes it's a movie that we want to see. (500) Days of Summer was a movie that I can safely say excited almost everyone in the Winfrey family. People have been lovin' on this movie since it premiered, and my hopes were high going in. It was pretty good, but it was not as good as I thought that it could be. I should just post this review by Dr. Evil and be done with it.

But I will continue. There were parts of this movie that were great. I liked that it was totally subjective. That was nice. Also, it wasn't subtle at all, but it wasn't trying to be. There were goofy sound cues and and bright contrasting colors everywhere. Scott Neustadter, the co-writer of the film, said that he wanted to make the film version of a pop song, which is very much how the film felt. That's why the soundtrack in this film worked so much better than that god-damned grating soundtrack for Juno. (500) Days of Summer openly acknowledged what it was (beginning with the title) and used that to its advantage. It was a relationship story as told by one 20-something year old who was clearly influenced by pop culture.

There were really great parts to this movie, which is where my main complaint stems from. After watching this film it was very obvious that the director had worked in music videos. Sure it was bright, and it looked nice, but it also felt very uneven. The fun stylistic parts were great. The dance sequence was great. The split screen part was awesome. The part in the karaoke bar, not so much. Any serious, conversational part felt a little weak. It was like they used up all of their energy on the fun, energetic sequences before and after, and what was left were these bland in-between pieces.

There were things I didn't like about the ending, and his dramatic speech, but I did enjoy this film. Sure, there were annoying characters (his little sister?), but the film had so many strong parts. I would give this film a solid B if I were into giving letter grades to films.